Last Tuesday I had a perfectly nice day at work, came home, warmed up my soup ... and noticed my throat hurt a bit. Woke up Wednesday feeling like a semi had run over me, stopped, backed up and run over me a couple more times. Called the doctor and he prescribed Tamiflu. Which you have to start taking within 48 hours of the onset of symptoms. What followed was a comedy of errors. Being at home, I asked the doctor's assistant to please call the prescription in to the Walgreen's pharmacy near my house, as opposed to the one near my office where I have my regular prescriptions filled. Now, you would think that being the same company, i.e., Walgreen's, this would not be a big deal, all records are computerized, right? Well, apparently not. Wednesday afternoon not having received a "your prescription is ready call" from Walgreen's, I called. They could not find any record of Tamiflu being prescribed for me. Called the doctor's office, they said they would fax it AGAIN. Called Walgreen's. This time they found no record of my ever buying prescriptions at Walgreen's (I refill on a monthly basis). They also kept calling me "Mr." I said no, no, no, it's Ms., not Mr. Still could not find my records. I repeated my birth date, my full name, my address ad nauseam to various people. Still no records. Finally got the situation with my records (miraculously found) straightened out, they still kept calling me "Mr." Called back in an hour (like they said) to confirm I could go pick it up. In this case, my neighbor had offered to go get it for me, because I felt really, really, really lousy. This was still Wednesday afternoon. So, I call Walgreen's and this is what I get "I'm sorry, sir, we are out of Tamiflu but should be getting some in tomorrow." Great. Not only did they give me an unwanted sex change, now they were out of the medicine I needed! Keep in mind, there's a 48-hour window.Thursday morning dawned, still felt lousy. My neighbor calls to say one of their little ones is down with some kind of bug. No worries, I told her, I'll go get the Tamiflu and is there anything I can pick up for them? No, they are fine and well-stocked with orange juice, chicken soup, crackers. Call Walgreen's ... again, back to Mr. and no records found. That is when I lost all semblance of a cool, calm demeanor and ranted at the pharmacy tech to GET SOMEONE WHO KNOWS WHAT IN HELL THEY ARE DOING ... NOW! Talked to the head pharmacist (or so they claimed) who assured me they would be receiving the Tamiflu shortly and yes, they would have it ready for me. Fine. I took a shower, pulled on some clothes and off I went to my regular Walgreen's to pick up my monthly meds. Did I mention I still felt lousy? Not the best of times to be dealing with the traffic from hell which is Miami traffic. Get my regular meds, call the Walgreen's near my house to tell them I am on my way and please is my prescription ready. Answer, "Sir, our records show you recently picked up your medication at another Walgreen's location." Really! You could not find my records yesterday, but today you can tell I picked up my meds from my regular Walgreen's? And "still have not received Tamiflu." Did I mention the person at the other end of the line would repeatedly sigh and then say "Ay, Dios mio, la gente!" (Translation: Oh, my God! People!) Really? With my last name being as common as Smith or Jones is in English, you are going to kvetch in Spanish? Exactly what is your IQ? -40? Oh, wait, forgot to add there was raucous laughter and salsa music blaring in the background. Well, I'm so sorry I am interrupting your salsa session! By this time the 48 hour window is getting narrower and narrower. Again, I ask for the head pharmacist. He tells me "Oh, Mr. Robles (okay, they have now changed my sex AND my last name), how are you today? We have your Tamiflu here, are you going to pick it up today?" I informed him my wife was on her way to pick it up for me. I was not going down the "No, it's Ms., not Mr." road again.
In the general scheme of things not getting the Tamiflu in time would not have been that big a deal, I can always mainline Vitamin C, orange juice and chicken soup and hole up in bed until I'm back to normal, but my heart goes out to those people that are really, really sick and have to deal with rude, obnoxious pharmacy staff who don't give a rat's green patootie that the person on the other end of the line is feeling ill. Blessedly when I drove up to the drive-through ready to bite somebody's head off, I was helped by a very kind, well-mannered young man who apologized for the mix-up and got my prescription lickety-split. I am writing a letter to Walgreen's corporate headquarters suggesting they fire all the pharmaceutical staff at that particular store, starting with the "Ay, Dios mio!" numbskull, except for this young man. Him, they should make head of the department and have him train new employees. Honestly. And, please, can the salsa music be turned down or, better yet, eliminated? People are there to pick up medicines, not do the merengue. Much as I like dancing, I do not want to hear music when I have a headache pounding inside my brain. It is especially painful when it starts keeping a beat to the music.
There are various Silver Linings to all this. One of them being my boss rocks. She told me to stay home, concentrate on getting well and not worry about the office and did I want chicken soup delivered, did I have enough food, did I need anything? The thing is she truly meant this which really makes me feel great about working for someone like that. Another is, serendipitously enough, Tuesday afternoon I received my copy of A House in the South by Frances Schultz, one of my favorite people ever and in between naps (this bug/flu thing has made really sleepy) I have been looking at all the fabulous photographs of lovely homes. When not leafing through that marvelous tome, I re-read the Whimbles' beautiful offering, The Legend of the Land of Caelumen. Honestly, those books and their illustrations get better every time. I can get lost in Caelumen and wish I could move there. I also have a stock of the Best Chicken Soup Ever in my fridge, it warms my tummy and soul to slurp it (Mom and Grandma's recipe). I am grateful again and again for my beautiful bed, it is lovely to snuggle in it, surrounded by lots of fluffy pillows (I love my pillows, I love my bed, cozy, cozy, cozy) and my baby girl Bella Bella Smokey Noella happily snoozing next to me.
Yesterday I woke up feeling slightly less fuzzy-headed, I did not wake up with the chills during the night and my throat did not hurt anymore. My sneezes are still mega-loud, but that is in my DNA and to be expected. I managed to make some lovely cafe con leche and stay awake for longer periods of time, watched two movies, Mirror, Mirror (loved, loved, loved, the dwarves are hilarious, I love Nathan Lane and the costumes are, oh, wow, those dresses, ooooh!) and The Joneses (Demi looks beautiful, Duchovny's still got it, loved their house, the movie not so much) and managed to start typing this entry without falling asleep, big, big, big improvement. I continued re-reading The Legend of the Land of Caelumen, wishing yet again I could move there.Today, I woke up feeling almost back to normal. I have not taken a single nap and managed to finish writing some little stories I've been working on for a while. And now, if you will excuse me, there's one last bowl of chicken soup to slurp and some sketches to fiddle with.
Until next time, be blessed, wash your hands, take extra Vitamin C, drink plenty of orange juice, sleep a full eight hours and if you have not already done so, get your flu shot!
