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The Cozy Cocoon is closing its door.

This year has been a year of upheaval for me.  Full of changes and adjustments, loss and discovery.  I lost a job I was very happy with.  Was blessed with a new one with a great boss I knew from another job a long, long time ago.  It was a rough adjustment and I am still learning.  Sometimes I think it is an impossible task, learning all these new procedures.  Others I just breeze through and think I can do this for a long time.  Others I just want to throw in the towel and go home.  But I muddle through.  It is one of the most stressful jobs I have ever had.  But I think that is just Life.  Ups and downs, joys and sorrows.  Faith and humor and a lot of prayer.  One constant has been my cozy cocoon and two little girls waiting for me at the end of the day.  Welcoming me home with purrs and meows, demanding to be fed, cuddled and given snackies.  In that order.  No matter what, rain or shine, they were there.

My little Rosie girl got sick in early November and the day before Thanksgiving she made her transition.  I held her close while our vet administered the injection and she was gone. I figured, it was a long weekend, so I would have time to be with Cata, her twin, giving her time to adjust to Rosie's absence.  It was not the happiest of Thanksgivings at the Cocoon.  Cata, kept looking for Rosie, she poked her head into every closet, every cabinet, that first night, meowing and looking at me as if asking for her sister.  The first few nights without Rosie, she slept on top of me, butting her head against me as if asking where had her sister gone.  By the end of Thanksgiving weekend, she had taken up post at the living room window and started not wanting to eat.  Just sat there, looking out, something she had never done before.  Her favorite place having been on top of the sofa pillows, next to her sister or curled up next to her love, Philipe Gaston, a marvelous antique marionette I got this summer from my lovely Fairy GodMother Martha and her husband.  I knew that I was losing her.

Last Tuesday I went to the vet to pick up my Rosie's ashes.  Cata had continued to decline, eating barely anything, just sitting at the window, looking out.  She only left her post to do her business or drink water and back she would go.  I would leave the blinds pulled up enough so she could look out while at work.  She was like a little sentinel standing guard.  While at the vet, I made the appointment for Cata and Thursday, the 8th, she made her transition.  She had a very bad night and I just knew it was time.  My vet, bless him, is a very kind man.  She was so, so tired, did not protest, just let me cuddle her as he administered the injection.  I kept whispering to her how much she was loved, that she was such a good, good baby.  Told her to please not fight with her siblings.  She sighed once and then she was gone.  I came home and cleared all their stuff out.  Did not want to come home and find it there, with no kits to welcome me home.  My boss, bless her, was so kind, telling me to take the day off, but I needed to be at work.  Coming home that first night was ... odd.  There has always been a set of furry paws waiting for me and for the first time in my life, there was no little furry body waiting.

I am always surprised and very much touched by the kindness of those around me.  It helps to have kindred souls around, who understand.  I am focusing on looking at the silver lining, I had them for a long time.  They were happy and healthy and loved and spoiled.  They are no longer in pain.  I really believe they are in a wonderful place, full of nooks and crannies to explore, where there are plenty of snackies and always a lap to cuddle on.  I believe they are with the rest of my loved ones, human, furry, feathered.  When I first moved into the Cozy Cocoon there were eight.  They were the heartbeat of the Cocoon and with Cata's passing, the Cocoon is no more.  So, I am moving on.

Earlier this year, Most Magical Wondrous Fairy GodMother Martha picked out one of her beautiful works of art for me, Transformation.  She deemed it fitting, seeing as to how this year has been so full of changes for me.  This Friday it arrived at my office.  Perfect timing.  Martha and her husband are two of the many blessings in my life.  Their friendship truly heals my heart.  Earlier this year, in the summer, they lost their beloved kitty. Then came a very stressful move into a new home. It has been a tumultous year all around.  Their friendship is one of my anchors.

There are many blessings in my life, my furry heartbeats were one of them.  My friemily is another, my job, my life.  I am not a fan of change, frankly I have had my fill of it over the years, but trying to fight it is like trying to eat soup with a fork, it just doesn't work.  We can only face it head on and make the best of it and always, always remember and focus on the good.  So, the Cocoon is going away.  Time to build a new world.  For the first time in my life I am responsible only for myself, I think this may be the Father's way of telling me, okay, time for you to take that leap of faith, get your ducks in a row and make that change you've been yammering about for a very long time.  Like I said, time to build a new world.  So, for now there will be no furry feetsies welcoming me at the end of the day.  But eventually, somewhere down the road, there will be furry feet welcoming me home.  Until then, I will be building my new nest and waiting for my new furry loves to be put in my path.  All in good time.

On Fairy GodMothers, Cupcakes and Saying Goodbye



Yesterday I was lucky enough to spend the day with my Most Fabulous Magical Fleaing Fairy GodMother, Estefania, a/k/a Her Most Serene Highness Queen of the Macedonian Faeries, that title being a tad long, I call her Miss S.  She moved into a new nest recently and I had been promising to visit, but something always came up or, if truth be told, I backed out because I just could not bring myself to leave the Cocoon on the weekend.  Now, I have been particularly blessed in the Fairy GodMother department.  I have three, once I had four, but that is a story for another day.  The three in my life now are Miss M., Miss R. and Miss S. and they are wonderful.  They feed my heart, my brain and my soul.  Sometimes my tummy, Jamaican patties come to my mind.  Best of all, they encourage and inspire me, make me see that one must treat one's dreams like treasures, guarding them safe within one's heart, while at the same time working towards making those dreams come true.  They put up with my hermit crab moods and always make me feel safe and loved "as is."

So, anyway, woke up and after a bit of to and fro, off I went.  Upon reaching Miss S.'s new nest, I was greeted with hugs, really good coffee and a delicious warm and toasty bagel.  Then I got the Grand Tour.  Oh, it is a lovely nest.  Full of her fleaing and garage sale treasures.  It is a warm, peaceful, welcoming, happy place.  Just like her.  We sat and chatted for a bit and then we were off to meet Miss B. at what is affectionately known as "the pub" for lunch.  Miss S. went off to get her nails done, Miss B. and I would wait for her at the pub.  There was a slight change in Glitterina's plan, however, when, upon parking, she spied a beautiful little gem of a store Miss S. had spoken about, a few doors down from the pub.  It's called "Hey, Cupcake!" and it is just like visiting a dear friend's home.  Decorated in Romantic Homes/shabby chic style, full of beautiful, comfortable, whimsical delights and best of all the yummiest cupcakes EVER.  With glittery frosting, really!  I was enchanted. The owner's name is Stacey, she reminded me so much of my beautiful Mom.  I asked her to pick out 1/2 a dozen cupcakes for me and chatted with her, until a red-faced, sweating bullets, Miss B. popped through the door asking "Where did you go?  Why don't you answer your cell?"  I had been sitting in air-conditioned comfort on a cushy-comfy sofa while poor Miss B. tromped about looking for me in what felt like 100 plus heat.  Bad,  bad Glitterina!

Finally at the pub, we noshed (I particularly recommend their mushroom cheeseburger and fries, oh, and their wings, their wings, oh my!), chatted, ate cupcakes.  I had two.  In my defense, they are two-bites size, perfect little dollops of delicious yumminess.  We took some photos to email to friends as actual proof that yes, I really did leave my lair on a weekend, no less, and then it was off to Harry Potter.  In 3D!  Oh, my.  I am afraid I will never settle for anything less at the movies.  It was wonderful, like being INSIDE the movie, actually quite dizzying at times, remind me to never open an account at Gringott's.  I do not want to spoil the movie for anyone, suffice it to say I absolutely LOVED it.  Although it was a bittersweet experience, the kids are all grown up now.  But it was wonderful.  Ron and Hermione finally smooch (the entire theater cheered), ditto Harry and Ginny (another cheer!) and Neville, at long last, declares his love for Luna (even more cheers!).  Snape, well!  Snape is a huge surprise.  And there is a white dragon in the movie whose main scene is sheer, pure, undiluted magic.  That's all I'm saying.  After the movie, we took some photos (more proof), there were hugs and promises to visit again soon and then I headed home.

Driving home I pondered when did I become so insular, unwilling to leave my nest?  Mind you, I have always been a homebody, but long ago and far away, in what now seems like a different life, different world actually, I enjoyed socializing, going out with friends, going to the movies, out to dinner, shopping.  Then, gradually, that changed to the point where I actually resent leaving my nest on weekends.  I am okay driving to work during the week, mainly because if I don't work, I don't get paid and if I don't get paid, well, you get the idea.  I do, actually, like my job, my boss (a rare and wonderful thing).  But when it comes to socializing, it is a major battle within myself to actually do it.  The odd thing is I know I have to push my comfort zone, broaden it.  I also know once I actually go, I enjoy it.  So, then, why is it so difficult for me to actually do this?  I don't know.  There is a whole world out there, begging to be explored, full of friends, laughter, joy and adventures.  It also seems to be a big, scary world, full of strangers.  Then, again, we are all strangers, aren't we?  Until we meet and (sometimes) become friends.  All of my friemily were strangers to me at one point.  This is something I have to remind myself of when I start getting into a hermit crab mood.

Got home, changed into my comfiest pajamas and checked my email.  I was saddened to learn the feline baby of two very dear friends passed away.  The beautiful Lumen.  She had been ill for a bit, we thought she was rallying.  Her spirit was strong, but her little body just gave out.  I am heartbroken for my friends.  It is always so sad when one of our furry (or feathered) babies leaves us.  They are such blessings in our lives, giving us pure, sweet unconditional love.  My two girls picked up on my mood and have been sticking to me like glue.  Where would we be without our furry, feathered progeny?  Always there for us, comforting, welcoming us home with purrs and quivering whiskers, barks and wagging tails.  In the case of our feathered babies, squawks and flapping of wings.  Another friend also recently lost her furry babies.  We are blessed, blessed, blessed by the time we have them in our lives, be it years or months, sometimes days.  I know all of mine hold a special place in my heart.  They have been there for me through thick and thin.  In my most difficult moments, they have comforted me.

I wish I could drive over to my friends' home with an offering of brownies and hugs, but they live in another state.  I tried sending brownies by mail once, but by the time they got to the homes of two friends, they had turned into brownie-scented doorstops.  Next time I used FedEx.  But today, today I will bake for my neighbors, my coworkers and nearby friends.  There will be pound cake and white chocolate chip/macadamia cookies.  Their scent will fill my nest, mingling with the sweet perfume of my ever-present rose-scented Yankee candle, which I light promptly upon arriving home from work and first thing when I wake up on weekends and days I am home.  My two girls are snoozing curled up next to me as I type this.  Through my window I see a beautiful, bright blue sky with puffy white clouds floating by.  Earlier today when I walked out to my teeny tiny porch to water my plumbagos and ferns, I was happy to see a little yellow butterfly fluttering happily along the ferns.  I love butterflies, they are such beautiful, delicate creatures full of joy, hope.  Delicate, yet resilient.  I know somewhere in Heaven there is a little cat napping on a silken pillow and when she wakes up, she will scamper out to a beautiful garden where other little furry friends wait for her and they will chase butterflies to their hearts' content.  I know my DivaBoy is in that garden, along with my other furry loves, and their friends including Neo, Roz and Misty.  Tonight the moon will be full again and the stars will shine.  I know they were shining extra-brightly last night, welcoming sweet Lumen home.  We are comforted by memories of time shared and are grateful for those memories.  As the saying on one of my favorite websites goes "All is well, we are loved."  We take them into our hearts, knowing it is temporary, but welcoming the chance, the ability to love and, oh, how they love us  back.  When they leave us, sometimes we are lucky enough to be chosen by new loves, always remembering the ones that were there before.

So, hug your friends, hug your children, be they human, furry, feathered, two legged or four legged, just hug them, let those around you know they are loved.  Hugs are a wonderful, wonderful gift.  Get out there, see the movie, meet a stranger, make a friend, have a cheeseburger or a cupcake (or both!), appreciate your life, your world.  Open your heart, widen that comfort zone, difficult as that may be.  As for me, I am off to bake and maybe paint a chair or two.

Until next post, be safe.  Be grateful.  Be blessed.

CELEBRATE!

This weekend would have been my parent's 56th wedding anniversary.  Somehow, I know they are in Heaven celebrating with champagne and chocolate cake (my Mom's favorite).  I always loved their anniversary because it tied in with the 4th of July, so we'd have the anniversary fete and then continue right on into the 4th, ending with fireworks!  It was always a happy occasion, with friends, family and my Dad lording over the barbecue.  The menu was always a combination of traditional Cuban (roast pork, black beans, rice and yuca with mojo ... my Dad made the BEST mojo) and American (barbecued ribs, hot dogs, hamburgers, corn on the cob, potato salad and apple pie).  The last few years of my Mom's life, we always made sure to have an over-the-top celebration, we'd made it to another year, reason, indeed, to celebrate.  The 4th always brings back sweet memories for me.  I am grateful for each and every single one.

Everyone says you get used to the absence, but you never really do.  At least I haven't.  Still miss their joyful presence, the conversations which ranged from the inane to the deepest of subjects.  Miss them, period.  But at the same time, I am grateful for having had them at all.  Some people never get that chance.  And, all in all, we were in each others' lives for decades and we squeezed every drop of joy from Life we could.  Still, I would have liked a few decades more.  Even when we had our disagreements, I was always happy to come home.  It was the high point of my day.  Coming home.  Still is.  My home is my refuge, my cocoon, my joy.

I was starting to get into one of my summer funks, something I decided to AVOID AT ALL COSTS starting this year.  I have promised myself I will enjoy summer, get out in the sun, garden, barbecue (or at least mooch off my neighbors who barbecue almost every weekend), remember what I loved about summer when I was little.  The smell of a freshly-mown lawn, eating ice cream in a cone, gardening, walking barefoot on grass (while blissfully ignoring my grandmother's admonitions to PUT ON MY SHOES), plant lots and lots of annuals to lure butterflies and fireflies.  Enjoy the season, humidity, hurricane worries and all.  Still the summer funks were lurking close, when a friend (who I swear is psychic) sent me an email that closed with this line "Don't be sad because it's over, smile because it happened."  I thought, hmmm, what a great way to look at the world.  Even when we are going through a major bump, to look for the joy, or to remember it.  Wasn't it Tasha Tudor, that wise, wise woman, who said "Take joy!"  Sometimes remembering joy can and does exist helps to bring you back from the brink.  To center one's world. I know it has for me.  When my Dad was dying and he was going through one more futile test procedure, I stood in a doorway someone had left open, it led to the hospital's rooftop and the sun was just streaming in.  I remember standing in that light, basking in it.  Knowing that soon he would be a part of it.  I was angry at losing him, so soon after losing my Mom.  But he missed her, his heart really was not in coming back from the edge this time around.  I was being selfish in holding on.  Knew it was time to let go.  He was gone a few days later.  That was years ago, still feels like it was yesterday.  Trite, but true.


Anyone who knows me will tell you I do not like change.  Detest it.  Had enough of it to last me a lifetime.  But it is inevitable.  Without change we would become stagnant.  I have learned change is good, it blows through, turning your world topsy-turvy, forcing light into dark corners, forcing one to grow.  This year in particular (and we are only halfway through it) has brought many changes for me.  Amazingly enough I am enjoying the results of those changes.  My friends have been my rocks through the adjustment period.  My steadfast lights through stormy seas.  I have, somehow, wound up in a new job I really enjoy with a brilliant, funny, amazing boss I actually like and respect.  I have been really lucky in the boss category.  I am still in my cocoon and am tweaking it a bit (my cure for all ills, redecorate, even if it only means buying a new pretty pillow) and every night when I get home, I am greeted by my two furry loves who immediately demand cuddles and snackies.  I water my plants, talk a bit with my neighbors and all is well in my universe.  I emailed a friend of mine this week saying I actually feel happy.  Which we all know is a very fragile thing.  We need to take care of it, nurture it, protect it.  Refuse to let the "dementors" (yep, I'm a Harry Potter fan) ruin our "happy."  Because if we allow that to happen, they win and this is to be avoided at all costs.  There are those who thrive on destroying other people's happiness.  Choosing to live in a brooding, dark cloud, always concentrating on the negative areas of their lives, seeing what they have lost, instead of what they have, sometimes right in front of their eyes, seeing what could have been, instead of what is and could be.  Yep, you got it, I'm one of those annoying "glass half full" people.  It is what gets me through some of Life's rough spots.  Remembering past joys has allowed me to get through some of Life's curve balls.  Because I know that, yeah, it may be dark out there, but somewhere there is Light and, eventually, if I hold on long enough that Light will once more reach me and enfold me in its loving warmth.  Light, faith, warmth, the Universe, friendship, joy, laughter, love, God.

Oh, dear, didn't mean to get all Zen.  What I really want to say is get out there and celebrate.  Celebrate waking up in the morning, with a good cup of coffee (and in my case, LOTS of half and half).  Celebrate having loved ones around.  Be they human or furry (both if you are really lucky).  Celebrate having had loving parents who allowed your imagination to fly.  If you did not have that particular blessing, then celebrate still being here, free to make your own choices and create your happiness.  Celebrate the chance to let your imagination fly.  Take wing.  Because, sooner or later, we must realize we are responsible for our choices, our own joy.  Heck, celebrate getting up and having a job to go to in the morning.  Celebrate orchids blooming and rain falling on ferns.  Celebrate getting one more day to live, to breathe, to be.  Celebrate seeing two little girls you love as your own grow up.  Seeing one marry for love and become a mom.  Celebrate holding her baby in your arms, until they fall asleep, but still you refuse to give that precious bundle up, even though you know it means being on mega-doses of Advil for the next three days.  Celebrate late-night conversations with the other one, who always makes you laugh and who continually amazes you at the bright woman she has grown to be.  Celebrate friendship and laughter and tears.  Celebrate life and if fireworks come along with your celebration, even better!


This is Glitterina signing off ... I have a dessert to make for my neighbors' 4th of July barbecue tomorrow.  A safe, happy and celebratory 4th to all.

First Blog ... June 25, 2011

Hello out there!  It's me, Glitterina, from The Cozy Cocoon.  Welcome to my wee nest, where I reside with a varied cast of characters, including two kitties, Rosie and Cata, and a plethora of fairies, elves, dragons and all sorts of mythical, magical creatures.

Here you will find roses and fairies, dragons and elves, including a VERY naughty elf named Bernard.  We will share recipes for delicious treats and all sorts of wonders. We will decorate, go fleaing (love, love, love to hit the flea markets and I have a Fabulous Magical Fleaing Fairy Godmother, Estefania, who manages to find the most magical treasures), tell stories and find a peaceful respite from a very hectic world.

Right now the Cozy Cocoon is in the process of creating our summer garden.  When the garden is all finished, although no garden is ever TRULY finished, is it?  There is always some lovely plant calling your name when visiting the garden center ... anyway, when the garden is finished, we will have the First Annual Fairy Godmother Cozy Cocoon Tea!  We believe in fairy godmothers here at the Cocoon, as we have been blessed with some truly amazing ones.  The Cozy Cocoon is a world of faith, imagination, magic and joy.  We believe that all dreams are possible and that, no matter how difficult a place you may find yourself in, you can always find a bit of beauty.  With faith, love and joy in your heart, you can conquer any situation, survive every curve ball that is thrown your way.  Remember to always look for the joy, if you look hard enough, you will find it.  We hope you like our world!