This year has been a year of upheaval for me. Full of changes and adjustments, loss and discovery. I lost a job I was very happy with. Was blessed with a new one with a great boss I knew from another job a long, long time ago. It was a rough adjustment and I am still learning. Sometimes I think it is an impossible task, learning all these new procedures. Others I just breeze through and think I can do this for a long time. Others I just want to throw in the towel and go home. But I muddle through. It is one of the most stressful jobs I have ever had. But I think that is just Life. Ups and downs, joys and sorrows. Faith and humor and a lot of prayer. One constant has been my cozy cocoon and two little girls waiting for me at the end of the day. Welcoming me home with purrs and meows, demanding to be fed, cuddled and given snackies. In that order. No matter what, rain or shine, they were there.
My little Rosie girl got sick in early November and the day before Thanksgiving she made her transition. I held her close while our vet administered the injection and she was gone. I figured, it was a long weekend, so I would have time to be with Cata, her twin, giving her time to adjust to Rosie's absence. It was not the happiest of Thanksgivings at the Cocoon. Cata, kept looking for Rosie, she poked her head into every closet, every cabinet, that first night, meowing and looking at me as if asking for her sister. The first few nights without Rosie, she slept on top of me, butting her head against me as if asking where had her sister gone. By the end of Thanksgiving weekend, she had taken up post at the living room window and started not wanting to eat. Just sat there, looking out, something she had never done before. Her favorite place having been on top of the sofa pillows, next to her sister or curled up next to her love, Philipe Gaston, a marvelous antique marionette I got this summer from my lovely Fairy GodMother Martha and her husband. I knew that I was losing her.
Last Tuesday I went to the vet to pick up my Rosie's ashes. Cata had continued to decline, eating barely anything, just sitting at the window, looking out. She only left her post to do her business or drink water and back she would go. I would leave the blinds pulled up enough so she could look out while at work. She was like a little sentinel standing guard. While at the vet, I made the appointment for Cata and Thursday, the 8th, she made her transition. She had a very bad night and I just knew it was time. My vet, bless him, is a very kind man. She was so, so tired, did not protest, just let me cuddle her as he administered the injection. I kept whispering to her how much she was loved, that she was such a good, good baby. Told her to please not fight with her siblings. She sighed once and then she was gone. I came home and cleared all their stuff out. Did not want to come home and find it there, with no kits to welcome me home. My boss, bless her, was so kind, telling me to take the day off, but I needed to be at work. Coming home that first night was ... odd. There has always been a set of furry paws waiting for me and for the first time in my life, there was no little furry body waiting.
I am always surprised and very much touched by the kindness of those around me. It helps to have kindred souls around, who understand. I am focusing on looking at the silver lining, I had them for a long time. They were happy and healthy and loved and spoiled. They are no longer in pain. I really believe they are in a wonderful place, full of nooks and crannies to explore, where there are plenty of snackies and always a lap to cuddle on. I believe they are with the rest of my loved ones, human, furry, feathered. When I first moved into the Cozy Cocoon there were eight. They were the heartbeat of the Cocoon and with Cata's passing, the Cocoon is no more. So, I am moving on.
Earlier this year, Most Magical Wondrous Fairy GodMother Martha picked out one of her beautiful works of art for me, Transformation. She deemed it fitting, seeing as to how this year has been so full of changes for me. This Friday it arrived at my office. Perfect timing. Martha and her husband are two of the many blessings in my life. Their friendship truly heals my heart. Earlier this year, in the summer, they lost their beloved kitty. Then came a very stressful move into a new home. It has been a tumultous year all around. Their friendship is one of my anchors.
There are many blessings in my life, my furry heartbeats were one of them. My friemily is another, my job, my life. I am not a fan of change, frankly I have had my fill of it over the years, but trying to fight it is like trying to eat soup with a fork, it just doesn't work. We can only face it head on and make the best of it and always, always remember and focus on the good. So, the Cocoon is going away. Time to build a new world. For the first time in my life I am responsible only for myself, I think this may be the Father's way of telling me, okay, time for you to take that leap of faith, get your ducks in a row and make that change you've been yammering about for a very long time. Like I said, time to build a new world. So, for now there will be no furry feetsies welcoming me at the end of the day. But eventually, somewhere down the road, there will be furry feet welcoming me home. Until then, I will be building my new nest and waiting for my new furry loves to be put in my path. All in good time.
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