Being Thankful

 Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday.  In fact, I believe we should celebrate it more than once a year. Because, as humans, we tend to forget to be thankful for the everyday miracles we are handed daily.  Like waking up to another day.  A hot cup of coffee in the morning to get you going.  For family and friends and friends who become family.  Working with people you feel safe with and make you laugh and think.  Having a safe, warm, welcoming home to return to at the end of day.  Cats who refuse to stop being kittens and perch on top of the armoire, batting at your head.  Friends who text you in the middle of the night because they are watching Wuthering Heights, yet again, and can't stop crying.  Sheesh. For friends' blogs whose posts arrive at just the right time. Thankful for having faith. Because, truly, at times it is the one thing that keeps one going.  Recent news items have brought back memories of a dark time and, to be perfectly honest, I went into a deep blue funk.  Which I had a really difficult time stepping back from.  But I am a "glass half full" type for the most part and I choose to be grateful for what I had, for what I have and for what will be.  As a very wise woman posted in her blog, I will trust the sky I am under ... This Thanksgiving I am thankful for ...

Bon Voyage Happy Hours - Fleming's, Coral Gables

Bouncing Baby Boys, Birthdays, Remission and Family Gatherings

My Dad and his Goofy Faces

My Beautiful Godmother

My Beautiful Mom and Godmother, Long, Long Ago

Flowery Teapots and Flameless Candles!

Memories of Little Ones Who Grew Up and Had Their Own Little Ones

Army Buddies Who Became Honorary Uncles
(Tio Juan and my Dad - Batista Army)

Pretty Peonies, Candlelight and Ivory Slipcovers

Fairy GodMothers and their Magical Spouses

Furry, Funny, Purring Children

Who Are Now Way Bigger, but Still Think They are Babies

Home

She Who Rules the Roost - Her Most Feline Highness

Family

The Three Who Once Were

Lovely, Comfy, Cozy Beds

Roses

Old Letters, Color Photocopies and Decoupage Medium ... I Love ModPodge!

Earl Grey Tea and Nutella on Toasted Pound Cake

Friemily Who Love Halloween as Much as Me

Miss Jodie's Cheesy Corn Muffins
and Kathie B.'s Chicken Pot Pie Recipe

Tall Friends Who Helped Decorate Really Tall Christmas Trees
a Long, Long Time Ago

Funky Settings on the Camera ... 

Speaking of Funky ... Remember Doing the Funky Chicken?

Vintage Type Ornaments that Remind Me of My Grandfather's Magical Toy Store

For family, memories, faith, friends (who are our chosen family) health, laughter shared and music played, even if off-key and especially ...

Thankful for Pie, Piping Hot from the Oven!

Wishing All a Blessed, Bountiful Thanksgiving.  Until next time, be blessed, be thankful and keep the faith!

Where Have Our Leaders Gone?

I have tried and totally failed to stay out of the political arena.  I do not like politics.  I do not  understand politics.  I do NOT trust politics, politicians, anything even remotely having to do with politics.  But at least, a long time ago, I respected certain political officials, or the positions they held. I respected the President.  I respected that title.  I may not have agreed with some of our Presidents, but by God, we had leaders.  We had leaders that stepped up at a moment of crisis, faced the nation, spoke to the people, let us know the situation was being handled.  But now?  Now we get mouthpieces that drone on about a "cautious approach" and "delicate situations" and "we must proceed carefully."  We are no longer respected, we are perceived as weak.  When the situation in Ferguson was going on the President addressed the nation, the Attorney General visited, the National Guard was called in. There were marches, demonstrations, protests. A few weeks ago, journalist James Foley was killed by cowards who cover their faces.  Today another American journalist, Steven Sotloff, was slaughtered.  Where are the protests, the demonstrations, the marches? Where is the outrage? I ask, again, where have our leaders gone?

Remember the Iran hostage crisis?  The failed rescue mission, when they tore our guys apart and paraded their bodies through the streets?  Remember what happened when Reagan was elected President?  As he was taking office, the hostages were released. A lot of people may not have liked him, but we sure as hell were respected.  So, I ask yet again, where have our leaders gone?

What is happening to us as a country?  We have become so divided along party lines we have forgotten we are first and foremost AMERICANS.  We need to present a united front, to come together, like we did on a terrible day in September 2001.  I pray it does not take another hideous day to once more unite us as a nation.  We are AMERICANS, we do not back down, we do not cower, we do not run, we do not hide.  When others are running out, we are running in to save the day.  We may not be perfect, but we are the greatest, the best.  We face our enemies, be they foreign or homegrown, we do not hide behind scarves, masks, among innocents.  If the terrorists have a message for us, rest assured we have one for them.  At least, I pray we do.

Until next time, be blessed, be safe and pray, the world needs prayer.

Do Unto Others, Wow, What a Concept

Sunday Roses

For some reason, August brings out the nostalgic in me. Some of the most unpleasant events in my life have taken place during this month.  Now that I am (chronologically anyway) an adult, I make it a point to make it as pleasant, as joyful a month as possible.  Even though it is as hot as Hades in my neck of the woods, summer being brought to its fever pitch and the humidity is off the charts.  But being an Aries, I am stubborn as a ram, so I crank the a/c up, light the scented candles, bake and take joy.  I got that from Tasha Tudor, that lady should have been declared a national treasure.  I read my favorite blogs, yes, I know, I sound like a broken record, listed in alphabetical order to keep it fair, Maureen Abood, Hollye Jacobs, Connie Perez, Frances Schultz,and the Whimbles, keep me laughing, thinking, believing and reaching for the Silver Linings in life.

It's Sunday, my second favorite day of the week.  The first being Saturday because I get a whole day at home AND still have one day at home left and the third being Friday because, well, it's the weekend!  Sitting on the sofa after morning prayer, cafe con leche in hand, I clicked on cnn.com and read an article about the nun who wrote the book "Dead Man Walking" which got turned into the movie with Susan Sarandon and Sean Penn.  Now, I am very much a supporter of the death penalty.  My sister (who knows the Bible backwards and forwards, I do not) and I have had some interesting discussions about this topic.  I am, usually, very much an eye for an eye person, it is in the Bible, I tell her.  She comes back with that was before Jesus came into the picture and it no longer applies.  I disagree.  I would have no problem whatsoever flipping the switch on murderers, rapists, those that torture, maim, inflict hurt purposefully on innocents.  However, just like I wonder whenever I see a homeless person when their spirit, their soul, was broken, I wonder what broke inside, when it broke, what it took to break, the criminal's soul.  Because, except for the rare ones who are born with a genetic flaw something they have no control over, we are not born criminals.  We are not born hating, it is something that somehow gets planted within us and grows, like an evil, poisonous thing, taking root in our hearts and minds. It is an ugly side of humankind and one that not a whole lot of people are willing to take a look at.  They would rather look the other way, make believe it is not there.  Turn a blind eye, the same way they turn a blind eye to the homeless, the poor, the "great unwashed" as someone once said, I forget who*, but the phrase stuck in my brain.

Bowl of Comfort

You see a homeless person walking between cars when you stop at a red light.  You stare straight ahead, fumble with the radio or crack the window and give them some change or a dollar.  There, you've done YOUR good deed for the day.  But do you meet their eyes?  And, yes, I know, some of them are grifters, some really are the dregs of humanity and some are just out to get your money.  But not all.  Once my sister and I had a spectacular argument, we're really only had a few, over one such homeless person.  We were exiting the highway, it was raining and there was this raggedy, soaked to the bone, middle-aged looking man, holding up a cardboard sign, which was rapidly fading, saying "Hungry. Please help."  Now, anyone who knows me will tell you I have a problem with anyone going hungry.  If there is one thing you can count on me for it is I will feed you.  Hot shower and a bowl of hot soup with a corn muffin on the side, my "go-to" comfort menu.  So, I grabbed a bunch of singles from my wallet, buzzed down my window and handed them to the man.  Did I mention it was flipping pouring, yet there he was standing in the rain?  Well, I got an earful from her, saying he would probably go buy some beer and drink himself into a stupor.  But, you know what?  That was his call if he chose to do so.  Because how much does your life have to suck to stand in the pouring rain, which is probably the closest thing to a shower he'd had in a VERY long time from the look of his skin and clothes, holding up a sign, hoping some soft-hearted nimwit came along and gave you their spare change.  A dirty, bedraggled, rather menacing-looking individual approaches your car, you look away, drum your fingers on the steering wheel, muttering "Turn green, turn green, turn green" hoping the light turns green and whew! Out of sight, out of mind. But I always think, there but for the grace of God ...

The same concept applies to animals, a dog approaches your pristine lawn, clearly lost, panting, you react by dousing it with water from your water hose, or throwing something at it, yelling "Shoo, shoo!  Go away!"  Maybe you call Animal Services.  You yell at the kids "Do NOT even THINK of petting, feeding, giving it water!  It's dirty, it will bite you and give you rabies!"  Or maybe it's a cat.  You do the same thing.  Go away, go away, you're ugly, filthy dirty and you do NOT belong here!  You could put a bowl of water out on the porch, but then you'd be encouraging it, right?  Same thing with the homeless, you give them a dollar and next thing you know, the next time they will expect you to give them some money, because you are an easy mark?  Then you get up Sunday morning, don your best duds and off to church you go.  You put a dollar in the collection plate, think you've done your part for the "poor children in (fill in country of your choice here)" and go off to the country club for lunch.  Or maybe to a nice restaurant with family and friends. Your kind.

Now, I am not saying we should open our doors (and hearts) willy-nilly to all the homeless, the hopeless, the abandoned, out there.  Or stop going to nice restaurants, enjoying life.  We all work hard, we deserve our pleasures and treats. Heck, I am addicted to scented candles and two certain brands of purses.  I spend an indecent (to some) amount on them, on manis and pedis.  I spoil my furry progeny silly.  Right now they are all spread out on the sofa, soundly sleeping after a lovely (if a bit smelly) lunch consisting of seafood feast and turkey and giblets feast.  What I am saying is, we need to look at the world around us, see the reality, the harshness some people live with on a daily basis.  Realize we are ALL connected.  Be grateful, not entitled, for all we have been blessed with.  The rough and the smooth.  The bitter and the sweet.  We all share the same planet. Like it or not, our actions create a domino effect.  What we put in, we get back, three-fold.  Instead of exuding harshness, coldness, not caring, of putting negativity out, try a bit of kindness instead.  You do not have to give the dirty, smelly homeless guy money, but maybe meet his (or her) eyes and say good morning, be careful out here.  Say God bless you (and mean it).  Instead of running that animal off your pristine lawn, put a bowl of water out for it, maybe it is the only kind gesture it will know in its life.  You do not have to "save the world" as someone once told me.  "You would like to make sure everyone is fed, bathed and has a safe roof under which to sleep!  You can't do that.  You can't save the world!" they said.  True.  But I can make sure that whoever I come across is met with kindness.  Even when they happen to be wearing designer clothes and a most snotty attitude.  Their issue. Not mine. Do unto others.  Wow, what a concept.

Which brings me back to Sister Helen Prejean.  While I do not wholeheartedly agree with her point of view, I can certainly understand it.  I have lost three people to violent acts during different times in my life.  One while I was a child, the other two in my 30s.  Two were related to me, the third was a friend.  All unsolved.  Their killers still walk free as far as I know.  Would I like to see them brought to justice? Absolutely.  It is doubtful they ever will be though.  They are three of thousands, maybe millions.  Could I possibly retaliate if they were brought before me and it was proven beyond shadow of a doubt they were guilty?  Oh, yeah.  But would I?  I don't know.  I like to think that before I pulled the trigger, flipped the switch, I would sit down with each individual, look them in the eye and ask them to tell me their life story.  I would want to know what was it, what series of events in their lives, led them to such a rage within their heart, soul, mind that it felt right to take another life.  To shoot someone at point blank range.  To watch their life drain out of them.  Without any regard for them, their loved ones.  No regret for shattering lives.  For destroying joyful, loving innocents and those that loved them.  When exactly did their hearts harden, their souls break?  Was it one cataclysmic  event or a series of harsh, unrelenting acts of indifference, cruelty.

Maybe they would tell me, maybe they would spit in my face or mock me.  Maybe they would tell me a bucketful of lies.  But at least I would know I tried.  I would tell them, you took a loved one away from me, I want to know why.  What drove you, what compelled you to destroy life, joy, beauty.  Once when I was volunteering in the pediatrics department of a hospital, I ran across a little boy.  He was a handful, the Energizer Bunny on speed, funny, bright, loved cars and drums, banging away on anything he could get  his hands on or creating wonderfully screechy car chases that inevitably wound up in spectacular pile-ups and he'd go "Boom!" raising his little arms in the air.  One afternoon he had an epileptic seizure while playing with me. The next day he came over to me, tugged on my jacket and in a very low voice he said "I'm sorry."  I said "For what?  You didn't do anything!" and he said "I was bad yesterday, my Mommy hates it when I do that." Something along those lines.  I just gave him a hug.  Wondered what did that child's mother say, or do, to him to make him think his having a seizure was him behaving badly? A few days later he was gone from the hospital.  I never saw him again, but he has always remained with me.  Thinking of him often, hoping somehow he survived childhood and is having a happy, healthy, loving life.

Sometimes I remember my family, how it was before we left my birth country.  True, I was very young, but I remember everyone (for the most part) getting along. Getting together at each other's houses, family trips with a caravan of cars off to the beach, the mountains.  Great big gobs of people of all ages sitting around tables laughing, talking, eating, singing.  Somehow we lost that connectivity when we arrived in the U.S.  Or maybe their true selves were revealed, I don't know.  Back in our native country, they were sure of their place, they belonged.  Here, they felt like they had to prove themselves and they did.  Some more financially successful, socially prominent, than others. Some liked (and thrived in) the limelight, others low-key, preferring to be out of that particular arena, happy to just live their lives, raise their child. But everyone had jobs, a house, food on the table.  Still, it was never the same. The long-running, ever present feud between my aunt and uncle got harsher than ever here.  It seemed like there was some kind of competition all the time.  My parents withdrew from all that, we settled in L.A., kept in touch with everyone, visited across state lines, but they were not really part of our lives, nor were we part of theirs.  At one point there was a family wedding, we were looking forward to seeing everyone.  Then we got a telephone call asking would we mind not going, there were going to be so many people, it was going to be so expensive for us (not really), maybe it was better if we did not travel.  I was perfectly fine with that, since we were going to change plans to visit Disneyland to travel to the wedding.  To this day, I'll take hanging out with Mickey and Donald any day over hanging out with grown-ups.  But my grandparents were incredibly hurt, it was their grandchild getting married and they were told, basically, they were not wanted there.  I wonder, at what point in time did it become okay, in their child's (the parent of the bride) mind to do that and, if they never meant for us to attend, then why send the invitation at all?  Were that to happen today, I would respond with a well-placed  "WTF?" It's a moot point, of course, mostly everyone has died, the bride and groom eventually divorced (and she married a lovely, lovely guy years later), the bride now is in her early 70s, I think (and I hope she has had a wonderful, joyful life).  I wonder when (if) they got to Heaven, did they run into each other?  Were apologies exchanged?  Or is it just all blotted out, hugs exchanged, slate wiped clean?  Hugs, I love hugs, they can be darn soul-healing.  Do unto others.  Wow, what a concept.

Well, I have veered, bobbled and weaved.  I have vented.  The rest of the day beckons.  Until next time, be blessed, be grateful, be joyful and keep the faith!

Keeping the Faith

*Turns out it was Edward Bulwer-Lytton, 1803-1873 (whatever did we do before google came along?  Oh, yeah, encyclopedias, libraries ...), an Englishman, rather interesting life story, apparently he was Secretary of State for the Colonies at one point and also had a rather acrimonious divorce. "The pen is mightier than the sword" and "In pursuit of the almighty dollar" are also attributed to him.  Funny, isn't it, how everyone fusses about people that pursue that ever elusive dollar, yet everyone, critics and non-critics, seem to want it?

Changes, Part Deux

Well, almost five months since my last post and, children, they have been one heck of a roller coaster ride. You know that feeling you get in your tummy, just as you are getting to the tippy top and know you are about to go zzzzooooming down at a bazillion miles an  hour?  And you're excited and scared and happy and terrified, but in a good way because you know that somehow even though you are scared witless, it is all going to be okay.  So you put your arms up, take the plunge, going "Woooooohoooo!" all the way.  Up and down and up and down and up, a couple of loop de loops, you start really regretting that last cotton candy you snarfed down, but you know it's all good.  Well, throw in a couple of almost-anxiety attacks, one almost meltdown, a bunch of friends (my coven!) helping out, just by BEING THERE, changing jobs twice in less than two months, having to decide in 5 seconds whether to go for a job where you'll be making less money but you will be really happy to get up in the morning, add a dash of redecorating/ decluttering fever, give it a good stir, pour into a chilled martini glass and voila!  My last five months. I didn't even post anything to my favorite blogs, but I still read 'em and like I told one of my favorite people ever, Ms. Frances Schultz, when I recently finally posted a comment on her (marvelous, lovely, wonderful, always makes me laugh and think) blog, her post about trusting the sky you are under has been referred to A LOT these past five months.  Her blog, my beloved Whimbles, my friemiliy and last, but certainly not least, my faith, kept me on (sort of) even keel.  I am sorry to say that at one point I was so overwhelmed by all the changes coming at me from all sides, that I missed one of my very favorite author's book signing.  I've written about her book before, Scenes Everlasting.  I love that book, have one on my nighttable, one in my purse and one at my office. That book is a little gem. Look it up on amazon.com, it can also be purchased at Books & Books in the Gables.

That little book and the "trust the sky you are under" post were much referred to these past few months. Even at the bumpiest of times, I knew it would all be okay.  Don't sweat the small stuff and, truly, a LOT of the stuff we stress about IS small stuff.  Compared to what's really out there. Serendipitiously (I think I just made that word up) enough, starting in March when I was handed my walking papers, I started meeting the kindest people.  Waiting in line to renew my license, I started talking to a very nice lady who was there with her granddaughters (she is raising them, her daughter having passed away), the oldest one was getting her restricted license.  We got to talking and as I was leaving, having taken my new (truly awful) picture for my license, we shake hands and she closes her eyes and says "Child, child, you have a great light shining on you.  There are wonderful things headed your way.  God loves you and He has great plans for you!"  Well, I had not found a new job at that point and I can tell you, she just made me feel great.  Another day in Publix (of all places to have a religious experience, I think Publix is pretty much way, way, way out there) I'm trying to get a bag of (what else) cat food, which of course was way out of my reach (there seems to be some sort of conspiracy against short people, just sayin') and this very nice (and tall) gentleman pops up out of nowhere, hands me the bag and when I thanked him, he smiled and said "You have light all around you."  That gave me the willies and the warm fuzzies at the same time.  But I felt great peace all around me when I looked at him.

A few days later I was sitting in my car waiting to go to another interview, I'd been to a few by then.  One I had really liked, two others were okay but I had a gut feeling they were not for me. (My dear friend and Faboo Fleaing Fairy GodMother Steph drove down to go with me to my first interview and then we went out for lunch, one of the many reasons I love her, she is true through and through.) So, there I was sitting in my car, waiting five more minutes to go into the interview. It was with an attorney I had worked with and really liked, we had worked at a fabulous, wonderful firm where I was really happy, then it got "absorbed" into another firm and things just went kaput.  He was looking for an assistant and a mutual friend recommended me, my wonderful former boss was one of his partners at that firm and had also called him.  Just as I was getting ready to turn off the car and go in, the phone rang and it was the first job I had interviewed for (and really liked) calling with a job offer!  I said I was about to go into another interview and would call them back.  This new interview went great, I felt really comfortable and liked the attorneys and the HR rep who interviewed me.  It was great to see my former co-worker, he is very calm, serious, just a really nice person.  I knew they were going to call me, but something just told me to go with the other offer. I felt not the best about turning his job offer down, it was a really good one.  But, it all turned out okay.

Okay, I will not lie and say I was not worried, I was, but still somewhere way down deep inside I knew it would all be fine. I just had to open myself up to the Universe and let the good, the positive, the joyful flow.  Which is not always easy when working with attorneys, sometimes you REALLY have to make the effort to stay positive, because what you REALLY feel like doing is going over the fence and layin' on a whooping.  But, nope, you take a deep breath and another and another, say an Our Father, or a dozen, and keep on trucking. All sorts of odd little things kept happening and/or popping up. Like the song Happy playing every day as I battled traffic on the way to my new job.  Several days I would hear Happy, I'd be bopping along at the top of my lungs "Because I'M HAAAAPPPYYYY!" and right after it my other favorite song would play and I would be sitting in traffic belting out "This is gonna be the BEST DAY OF MY LIIIIIIIFE!"  Thankfully the windows were always up and I was never pulled over for noise violations (ha ha).  Seriously, the oddest little nice things just kept happening.  One of my neighbors would come knocking on my door after a particularly LOOOONG day bearing soup or some other deeeelish offering from their homes. Someone would hold the elevator for me, or open the door. One day a homeless man I see off and on was walking up and down, doing his thing, I rolled down my window and scootched up all the spare change I had in the car, he beamed at me and said "God loves you, sweetheart, you have a blessed day!"  He made my day. Little things, really, but they just made my roller coaster ride ever so much nicer.  It was like the Universe was telling me "It's all good, we got this.  It's handled."  And it was.

I started my new job and it was good.  LOTS of paper, phone calls, I hit the ground running and every single day got home feeling like I had just run a marathon. Really liked my new boss.  Really missed my old one. I always told her she was my last attorney.  New people were all quite nice, but somehow I knew not to put down roots, something else was just around the corner.  And it was.  You've gotta trust those gut feelings.  About a month and a half after starting my new job, I was offered another one, doing something I really enjoy and had been wanting to get back into.  I was offered the job on a Wednesday afternoon, had to make a split second decision and I went for it.  Thursday I went in and resigned, giving essentially no notice, as the next day, Friday, was my last day.  I was able to take a few days off before starting my new job and they were blissful.  Now I knew why I had the gut feeling to turn down the job offer from the attorney I worked with before.  We have a  history, we know the same people. A very dear friend had recommended me, my former boss had called him, he made time in his very busy schedule to set up the interview.  He has a very challenging job, yet he made time to interview me. And he offered me a great job.  Which my gut feeling told me to turn down.  Now, I did not feel all that great about giving zip notice at my new job, but I would have felt MAJORLY lousy if I had done that to him, I would have felt like I was doing a disservice not only to him, but also my friend who had recommended me and my former boss (who I still miss).  I did like my new boss, he really is a decent sort, but it wasn't like we'd worked together for years.  Happily, however, an assistant who started about a week after I did was REALLY unhappy with her boss, I suggested she take over for me and she was really happy for that chance.  So, it all turned out nicely.  I have a  job doing something I really enjoy and so does she.

In the past few months I have seen the best in people and also the worst. When I was told my position was being "phased out," which was a lot of hogwash, I was not happy.  But, you know, if I ever bump into the squirrely individual who instigated the whole thing, I am going to give him a hug.  His disagreeable actions turned into a great opportunity for me. I would have never left my former boss otherwise, as I was determined to stick with her through thick and thin. She was very good to me and we are still great friends.  These past few months I have had unusual encounters with complete strangers, is there such a thing as partial strangers?  My faith has been reaffirmed.  I am grateful for this wild roller coaster ride.  It is turning out to be quite an interesting summer.  Surrounded by faith, friends, memories, joy, laughter, spending time in my cocoon, I am reminded, yet again, I am blessed, I am blessed, I am blessed.  After one heck of a ride, I  have arrived at a good place.  Fall, my favorite season, is peeking around the corner.  My worries were tempered by my faith, by my friends who just glommed around me and made sure I knew they had and have my back.  I no longer walk on eggshells, it's been a while since I actually could say that.  Which reminds me of one of my favorite Bible verses, Matthew 6:34, "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself ...."  Truer words were never spoken.

Before I forget, please, pray for our country, for the innocents, for the world, it needs a lot of prayer.  We need  to come together, somehow to realize we are all one. But that is a post for another time.  For now I am signing off, my furry progeny anxiously await their bedtime snackies, I  have a stack of interior design magazines waiting for me, soft sheets and fluffy pillows beckon.  Welcome August, summer is 3/4 over.  Until next time, be blessed, take joy and keep the faith!