CELEBRATE!

This weekend would have been my parent's 56th wedding anniversary.  Somehow, I know they are in Heaven celebrating with champagne and chocolate cake (my Mom's favorite).  I always loved their anniversary because it tied in with the 4th of July, so we'd have the anniversary fete and then continue right on into the 4th, ending with fireworks!  It was always a happy occasion, with friends, family and my Dad lording over the barbecue.  The menu was always a combination of traditional Cuban (roast pork, black beans, rice and yuca with mojo ... my Dad made the BEST mojo) and American (barbecued ribs, hot dogs, hamburgers, corn on the cob, potato salad and apple pie).  The last few years of my Mom's life, we always made sure to have an over-the-top celebration, we'd made it to another year, reason, indeed, to celebrate.  The 4th always brings back sweet memories for me.  I am grateful for each and every single one.

Everyone says you get used to the absence, but you never really do.  At least I haven't.  Still miss their joyful presence, the conversations which ranged from the inane to the deepest of subjects.  Miss them, period.  But at the same time, I am grateful for having had them at all.  Some people never get that chance.  And, all in all, we were in each others' lives for decades and we squeezed every drop of joy from Life we could.  Still, I would have liked a few decades more.  Even when we had our disagreements, I was always happy to come home.  It was the high point of my day.  Coming home.  Still is.  My home is my refuge, my cocoon, my joy.

I was starting to get into one of my summer funks, something I decided to AVOID AT ALL COSTS starting this year.  I have promised myself I will enjoy summer, get out in the sun, garden, barbecue (or at least mooch off my neighbors who barbecue almost every weekend), remember what I loved about summer when I was little.  The smell of a freshly-mown lawn, eating ice cream in a cone, gardening, walking barefoot on grass (while blissfully ignoring my grandmother's admonitions to PUT ON MY SHOES), plant lots and lots of annuals to lure butterflies and fireflies.  Enjoy the season, humidity, hurricane worries and all.  Still the summer funks were lurking close, when a friend (who I swear is psychic) sent me an email that closed with this line "Don't be sad because it's over, smile because it happened."  I thought, hmmm, what a great way to look at the world.  Even when we are going through a major bump, to look for the joy, or to remember it.  Wasn't it Tasha Tudor, that wise, wise woman, who said "Take joy!"  Sometimes remembering joy can and does exist helps to bring you back from the brink.  To center one's world. I know it has for me.  When my Dad was dying and he was going through one more futile test procedure, I stood in a doorway someone had left open, it led to the hospital's rooftop and the sun was just streaming in.  I remember standing in that light, basking in it.  Knowing that soon he would be a part of it.  I was angry at losing him, so soon after losing my Mom.  But he missed her, his heart really was not in coming back from the edge this time around.  I was being selfish in holding on.  Knew it was time to let go.  He was gone a few days later.  That was years ago, still feels like it was yesterday.  Trite, but true.


Anyone who knows me will tell you I do not like change.  Detest it.  Had enough of it to last me a lifetime.  But it is inevitable.  Without change we would become stagnant.  I have learned change is good, it blows through, turning your world topsy-turvy, forcing light into dark corners, forcing one to grow.  This year in particular (and we are only halfway through it) has brought many changes for me.  Amazingly enough I am enjoying the results of those changes.  My friends have been my rocks through the adjustment period.  My steadfast lights through stormy seas.  I have, somehow, wound up in a new job I really enjoy with a brilliant, funny, amazing boss I actually like and respect.  I have been really lucky in the boss category.  I am still in my cocoon and am tweaking it a bit (my cure for all ills, redecorate, even if it only means buying a new pretty pillow) and every night when I get home, I am greeted by my two furry loves who immediately demand cuddles and snackies.  I water my plants, talk a bit with my neighbors and all is well in my universe.  I emailed a friend of mine this week saying I actually feel happy.  Which we all know is a very fragile thing.  We need to take care of it, nurture it, protect it.  Refuse to let the "dementors" (yep, I'm a Harry Potter fan) ruin our "happy."  Because if we allow that to happen, they win and this is to be avoided at all costs.  There are those who thrive on destroying other people's happiness.  Choosing to live in a brooding, dark cloud, always concentrating on the negative areas of their lives, seeing what they have lost, instead of what they have, sometimes right in front of their eyes, seeing what could have been, instead of what is and could be.  Yep, you got it, I'm one of those annoying "glass half full" people.  It is what gets me through some of Life's rough spots.  Remembering past joys has allowed me to get through some of Life's curve balls.  Because I know that, yeah, it may be dark out there, but somewhere there is Light and, eventually, if I hold on long enough that Light will once more reach me and enfold me in its loving warmth.  Light, faith, warmth, the Universe, friendship, joy, laughter, love, God.

Oh, dear, didn't mean to get all Zen.  What I really want to say is get out there and celebrate.  Celebrate waking up in the morning, with a good cup of coffee (and in my case, LOTS of half and half).  Celebrate having loved ones around.  Be they human or furry (both if you are really lucky).  Celebrate having had loving parents who allowed your imagination to fly.  If you did not have that particular blessing, then celebrate still being here, free to make your own choices and create your happiness.  Celebrate the chance to let your imagination fly.  Take wing.  Because, sooner or later, we must realize we are responsible for our choices, our own joy.  Heck, celebrate getting up and having a job to go to in the morning.  Celebrate orchids blooming and rain falling on ferns.  Celebrate getting one more day to live, to breathe, to be.  Celebrate seeing two little girls you love as your own grow up.  Seeing one marry for love and become a mom.  Celebrate holding her baby in your arms, until they fall asleep, but still you refuse to give that precious bundle up, even though you know it means being on mega-doses of Advil for the next three days.  Celebrate late-night conversations with the other one, who always makes you laugh and who continually amazes you at the bright woman she has grown to be.  Celebrate friendship and laughter and tears.  Celebrate life and if fireworks come along with your celebration, even better!


This is Glitterina signing off ... I have a dessert to make for my neighbors' 4th of July barbecue tomorrow.  A safe, happy and celebratory 4th to all.