My grandmother always said white roses symbolize peace. Something the world needs, oh, so very, very much. Today I am writing about the brouhaha surrounding Paula Deen. I love her cooking shows, she always makes it seem so fun and easy. I've seen her interviewed many a time, have seen her host people of all races on her show. While the "y'all" got at times a bit thick, she always seemed charming, hospitable and gracious to a fault. And while I do not condone, never have, never will, the use of that despicable word, I do believe there has been a knee-jerk reaction. It seems the world is hell-bent on destroying her. And it is not fair. There are way worse people out there, let's see the press and the world at large go after them. We all make mistakes, we all say stupid things when we have been hurt, attacked or are just plain ticked off. Like a very wise man once said, let those who are without sin cast the first stone.
From the Teaching Tolerance blog, post entitled "Straight Talk about the N-Word" Number 40, Fall 2011:
"How did the n-word become such a scathing insult? We know, at least in the history I’ve looked at, that the word started off as just a descriptor, “negro,” with no value attached to it. … We know that as early as the 17th century, “negro” evolved to “nigger” as intentionally derogatory, and it has never been able to shed that baggage since then—even when black people talk about appropriating and reappropriating it. The poison is still there. The word is inextricably linked with violence and brutality on black psyches and derogatory aspersions cast on black bodies. No degree of appropriating can rid it of that bloodsoaked history."
The words "bloodsoaked history" hit home for me. Because I understand how and why the "N" word is offensive. I have trouble when the kids working in my office use it. I've even told them. But, still, I hear that word used ... A LOT. Yet, they are still employed and not reprimanded, in any way, shape or form, for using that word. A LOT. I am writing today regarding the ruckus about Paula Deen having used it some years back about someone who held a gun to her head. I would certainly never use that word. Nor have I ever. But, chances are if someone held a gun to MY head, that someone would be called about all the worst words I could think of and would even invent a few. Yet, everybody and their great-grandmother has gotten on the "let's kick Paula Deen down" bandwagon. With people, never heard from before, saying how she discriminated against them. I think it's about their 15 minutes of fame. It reminds me of that case years and years ago, when a young girl was missing from her home, then turned up with racial slurs written all over her body, said she had been raped by a group of men. There were rallies, press conferences, then it turned out she was lying. But she had her 15 minutes of fame. And, man, was the racial divide ever stirred up. Giving a perfect platform for nimrods from all walks of life to spew their vitriol. From calling people uppity to calling people racists, they all had a field day. Nowadays you can say anything about someone (especially if they are famous) and immediately the press is all over it, hungry jackal-jaws snapping. Innocent until proven guilty? Out the door. Race-related? Hell, let's stir up the pot and make for even MORE divisiveness! It sells! It gets ratings! It generates revenue! All hail the almighty dollar! Because, seriously people, do you REALLY think it has to do with being offended by the use of a word? I wish it were so, but I do not believe so.
I don't. If it was really about being offended, then where are the headlines when entertainers (and I use that word REAL loosely) use that word like I use the word "hey" or when they describe women as hos, bitches, the "C" word (just as offensive in my book as the "N" word), where is the clamor over that? If the companies that have dropped Paula Deen like the proverbial hotcakes are SO offended by her use of that word, then I am guessing they are going to be dropping a lot of entertainers (and again I use that term REAL loosely) from their stores as well. For using the "N" word freely and just as freely using derogatory terms about women. Oh, wait, wait, wait. My mistake. Excusez moi. Pardon me. THAT is freedom of expression, you know, covered by that freedom of speech thing. Or, even better, artistic expression. It's an artistic concept. Sure, of course. I get it. Not. Then again, there are those that claim they use that word to rob it of its power.
I find myself offended by the behavior of some ... artists. They use foul language, spit at people, throw stuff at people. Granted, paparazzi are annoying as all get-out, but ya know, they do keep your names in the headlines and isn't that what your lives are all about? Or else why did you get into the business if you do not crave the limelight? Oh, wait, wait, I forget, you are above the law, right? Again, I forgot. You can speed, spit, swill, spew, but it's artistic expression. But still it offends me. So ... class action, anyone? Come on, it's fun! Our names will be in the papers. ET and OMG Insider will want to interview us! And we can make even more fun of Paula Deen! We'll be rich! Well, maybe just extremely well-off after attorneys' fees and costs are taken out of our settlement monies. We will get our 15 minutes of fame! Ah, the possibilities!
She used that term, what, 20 some years ago? She admitted it under oath. Imagine that. Telling the truth ... under oath. This begs the question, how many politicians, business people and cheating spouses shudder at that concept? She wanted a "plantation" style wedding reception, with African-American men serving, not the brightest idea. So who was at fault more. Paula Deen for that not-too-bright concept or those that went along with it? Including the men who agreed to work as servers. I mean, if you are going to do a "plantation style" anything, well, you'd have to use African-Americans in a subservient role because, repulsive as it may be, that was the norm ... back then. And so many people now crawling out of the woodwork claiming they were mistreated and offended by her behavior, years ago. Really? You were that offended and you waited until now? Why? Still, that plantation thing was an idiotic idea, in my book. Sort of like, oh, I don't know, someone making a comedy album about the day Castro finally dies and what will go on in Cuba then. A Cuban comic (try saying that three times in a row) made such a recording many years ago. I loved his comedy albums, that one not so much. It hit a nerve. Much as the use of the "N" word hits a nerve with some. I know it offends me.
So, yeah, I am thinking of filing a lawsuit. The "N" word offends me when it is used by anyone, I don't care if they are white, black, whatever their race, ethnic background, even polka-frikking-dotted, it offends me. My first friend in this country was African-American, his name was Kenneth. We were in the third grade together. It was back when schools were being integrated and some people did not take kindly to that. I didn't speak English, he didn't speak Spanish. Yet, by some miracle, we became friends. He was soundly beaten a couple of times just because of his skin color. By older kids, 5th and 6th graders, who yelled that word over and over. He returned to school each time. When I asked my parents why kids did that, they told me those kids probably heard those words at home and some people judged people by their skin color or religion or where they lived or came from, which was silly because really we are all the same.
While in third grade, I was beaten up by a bunch of African-American girls, have no clue why, I'm guessing they were ticked off at being called names and I happened to be walking by when they finally got tired of hearing that word yelled at them. You know who came to my rescue? Kenneth. Now, that, my friends, took guts. In my first real job I was mentored by a lady by the name of Ruby. I love that name, it's also the name of my Magical Fabulous Fairy GodMother, Ruby. She of the healing hugs and Jamaican patties. But I met her in my 40s. The Ruby I'm talking about now, I met her when I was 18. She is one of my dearest friends, read at my father's funeral mass. We have been friends for decades. One time someone came to our department looking for her and I told them "Go around the corner, she's sitting at a desk, lady wearing a blue dress." Minutes later this person returned and said "There's nobody there, just some black woman!" I asked "Is she wearing a blue dress?" The guy said "Uhhh .... (brainiac, magnificent vocabulary this guy had), yeah." I looked at him and said "Well, that'd be her then." He muttered "Well, you could have said she was black!" What did that have to do with the price of beans? I did say lady sitting at desk, blue dress. Hello? What that man had for brains I will never know. My guess is peas. Dried-up, old and withered peas just rolling around that empty white pointy little bald head. Sidebar: You know one of my favorite things about getting together with my marvelous, magical Fairy GodMother Ruby's family? You see all shades at that table, race is a non-issue. And what a marvelous gift that is.
There are true victims out there. Some have survived. Some have not. The name Emmett Till comes to mind. There are people who died hearing that word being yelled at them. There are people who still defend the slavery concept. There are people who flat out deny the holocaust occurred. Or who justify it. Who think they are better than others merely because their skin is the color of paper. Cannot for the life of me wrap my brain around that concept. People who proclaim "I'm white and I'm proud!" Really? They set the excellence bar rather low. I don't know, I'd be proud if, say, I discovered the cure for cancer. Figured out a way to feed the hungry, shelter the homeless, stop people from being cruel pinheads. But not because my skin is lighter than my neighbors' skin. You hear hateful words bandied about so nonchalantly these days. You hear the "N" word, you hear derogatory terms used for just about any race, ethnic group, any and everyone who is deemed "different." The "N" word particularly resonates with me. Maybe because I was a child during the civil rights era, I don't know. But I find that word particularly despicable. Especially when used by young people because when I hear them use it I think, Martin Luther King, Jr. marched for you. His followers put their lives on the line for you. In the end, he died for you at the hands of a racist. And you repay him like this?
I want to file a lawsuit against anyone who uses the "N" word. I want to file a lawsuit against anyone who uses derogatory terms about women, any ethnic group, nationality, people who have a different sexual orientation, whatever. Because that type of behavior is offensive to me. I want to file a lawsuit about disrespectful "celebrities" who don't have the brains of a garden slug. I want to file a lawsuit against those who purposefully inflict hurt on others, just because they had the urge to do so, knowing full well what they were doing. I want to file a lawsuit against the idiot teacher, yep, a TEACHER, who once told me I was not white because I was born in Cuba and Cuba is in the Gulf of Mexico, so I was deemed Mexican. When I informed this teacher that Mexican was a nationality, Cuba is in the Caribbean Sea and white is a race, NOT a nationality, she gave me detention. She was actually a substitute with a SERIOUS chip on her shoulder, I do believe had one looked at the back of her neck one would have found either the number 6 three times, or the KKK logo. I'm guessing she's a Tea Party member nowadays, if she's alive. I want to file a lawsuit against judges who let criminals with rap sheets miles long go free with just a slap on the wrist, I find that offensive. I would say I want to file a lawsuit against those attorneys who represent them, but there's that pesky "right to counsel" thing. I want to file a lawsuit against the clerk who when I turned in my citizenship application said "You should drop that first name, it's not American enough." I informed her my first name, unusual as it may be (to some), is a family name going back to my great-grandmother and she could put THAT in her pipe and smoke it! I want to file a lawsuit against parents who leave babies in cars alone. Against people that have slaughterhouses and butcher animals "for religious purposes" except you just know there will be some nimrod attorney who will bring up that "freedom of religion" thing. Dang! I want to file a lawsuit against employers who demean, disrespect and discriminate. Against nimrods who claim their religion is The One True Religion and those that do not convert will Burn In Hell. Oh, wait, there's that pesky freedom of religion thing again. Against people who stir the pot and make the racial divide even wider. On BOTH sides of the issue. Because racism and bigotry are not just a "white" thing. Horrible, heinous, terrible things have been done by cretins who believed themselves superior just because of their skin color (or lack thereof). But people of all colors, races and creeds have marched together for equality ... for ALL. Not all Southerners are racists and not all racists are Southerners. Not all Christians are Christian, just sayin'. Not all Jews are cheap, I have known plenty of uber-frugal Catholics in my time. Not all Hispanics speak with an accent. Once I was told I "talked English real good for a little Cuban girl, you have no accent, you could pass for white!" What is it with the white thing? Mind you, they really were trying to be nice. I just said "Well, thank you. I learned English while on the banana plane from Cuba." They thought that was the funniest thing. Let's stop generalizing. There's good and bad across the board. Trouble is, good does not make for high ratings. And I sincerely doubt that all those companies who dumped Paula Deen are all perfect and holy and have never themselves used derogatory terms or made a mistake.
Say, whatever happened to innocent until proven guilty? Or responsible journalism? Oh, wait, responsible journalism, OXYMORON. Class action anyone?
Well, the skies are gloomy, it is thunder-booming and about to pour. I'm signing off, brewing some coffee (café con leche!) and enjoying being home while it pours. Usually I am stuck in traffic with some nimrod behind me flashing his lights. Being at home during a rainstorm is a rare and much treasured treat. Until next time, be blessed, take care of one another, remember, we are all His children. Peace and keep the faith!
Brilliant! Is all I can say.
ReplyDelete