Still and all, I have not been quite centered for a while. Today started off like every day, get up, feed the kits, shower, café con leche, morning prayer and off to work. My boss has not been feeling well, but went in today and it was good to see her. Weather this morning was Fall-like (for my neck of the woods, anyway), but it turned really stormy early in the afternoon. I was just finishing up reviewing some documents when my boss, who was on her way home, called me and said "Go home, now. The weather is terrible and it's going to get worse." I looked outside and it was pouring. I grabbed some stuff I could review at home and left. Got drenched in the two steps to my car, but I was on my way home. Poured almost the entire time, hard rain, it felt like hail at times. Thankfully traffic, although quite heavy, moved along and there were no accidents (a miracle, truly). One hour and 50 minutes later I was parking my car. It stopped raining about 10 minutes away from home and I thought, well, that's enough of that storm! But about five minutes after I got home, right after I fed the outdoor cats (who seemed rather surprised to see me) the Heavens opened and it has been pouring ever since.
To say I have been tightly wound for a while is to put it mildly. Yet, today, a few hours ago, when I got home and started to review some work, all of a sudden I felt this peace come over me. When I got home, I lit my "Pumpkin Carving" candle (it's October, pumpkin season!), changed into my "comfies" and turned on my laptop to connect to my firm. In the middle of reviewing my work, I suddenly felt myself unwind, relax, let go. I thought, how very, very blessed am I. It is pouring and I am home, safe and snug as a bug in a rug. There's a well-stocked pantry and fridge in my cocoon, new posts from two of my very favorite blogs (Frances Schultz' and Hollye Jacobs') to read once I finished work, kettle happily whistling on the stove, I'm working from home because my lovely boss sent me home early due to bad weather, seriously, how many bosses DO that??? Here I am, home. With my kits, lovely candle scenting the air, along with a peach pie bubbling in the oven. I am home. I am blessed, I am blessed, I am blessed. And thankful. Sometimes I get so focused on what is wrong with the world, with society, that I don't see the forest for the trees. I stop seeing the blessings and see only the inane, the ridiculous, the sheer stupidity that seems to dominate the news these days. Dweezils being carried around or prancing around naked and calling it "art." That's not "art" that's a pathetic call for attention, which of course the news media rushes to cover as if it were the cure for cancer. Art is Picasso, Botticelli, Rembrandt, Redoute's roses (particular favorites of mine), Dali, Cassat (another particular favorite), Gaudí, Monet, THAT's art! Prancing around naked, no, no, sweetums, that's being a ho and you're not doing it in the name of "art." You are doing it for the "shock" value (by the way, just my humble opinion, but society as a whole should be WAY over seeing people's privates by now, I mean, really?) and because you know it will get and keep you in the news, which you, come on now, be honest, you crave AND for some reason I cannot quite fathom, makes you money! Hmmm, haven't been in the news for a day or two, let me flash my boobies! Or worse. Please, don't tell me that those "oopsies, flashed my privates" moments are real oopsies, nuh, I don't buy that for a second. What in heck ever happened to underwear??? But, again, I digress.
My ranting at the inanity of the world is not going to fix it. Sure, it lets off some steam, but it really accomplishes zip, nyet, nada. It takes the focus off what is really important, health, waking up to another day, faith, joy, laughter, having a job (and a decent boss who sends you home early in inclement weather, calls when you are out sick to see how you are feeling and has your back), a solid circle of friends. It took watching the documentary about Valerie Harper the other night, a news report last night on a street being named in honor of a little girl who passed away from cancer, and finding a little note handwritten by my Mom which says "You are never too old to learn how to live" to make me come to my senses. I've been in a phhhhtt mood and it has accomplished zip, I am not living, I am wasting precious, precious time and I am not appreciating the gift that Life is. I am thankful not only because I realized this, yet again, but also because the Father did not, yet again, reach down from Heaven and smack me upside the head. I am fairly certain he has wanted to do this a time or two (or a dozen) these past few months. The other day I was rushing off to work and realized I had not done my morning prayer. For about a nano-second I thought, ah, well, I can do it tomorrow and something just stopped me. It was like someone telling me "If you don't have five minutes to sit down and talk with your Father, you are in DEEP bat guano, missy!" So, time was made, lip gloss can wait, morning prayer was said. Honestly, for the past few days, it's like I have been getting these little messages to wake the heck up and smell the coffee, the roses and the scented candles. I think I was THISCLOSE to a major smack and narrowly avoided it. Today I was looking at pictures of my godfather online and thinking all that time wasted feuding with his sister and for what? I believe it was my Guardian Angel yanking, gently, on my ear, letting me know that in my own way I was doing the same darn thing. I do love my Guardian Angel.
Which brings me to this post. Today is the Feast of the Holy Guardian Angels, according to a Catholic website I get emails from. I believe in angels. I have believed in them all my life. One of my first memories is of my Mom cutting silohuettes of angels out of beautiful gold and red foil (it was almost Christmas Eve and she was decorating our dining room walls), they were playing trumpets and harps and she told me when we were asleep they would play beautiful music to give us sweet dreams. I loved that idea. A picture similar to this one was in my bedroom as a child, I loved the angel looking out for the children. I believe in Guardian Angels and I know for a fact mine works overtime ... a LOT (and am willing to bet some of the time is heard to mutter "Why, why, why?"). Maybe it was my Guardian Angel finally getting through to me today, telling me to relax, all is well, we are loved. Our Father is in charge, it is not my job to rant and rail at what I perceive as idiocy and foolishness. It is my job to follow His rules, to do unto others, to do what is right, even though at times it makes me feel like a walking, talking anachronism. Ah, my Guardian Angel is most wise and patient. And for that I am most thankful.Until next time, be safe, keep the faith and be kind to each other!
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