Do Unto Others, Wow, What a Concept

Sunday Roses

For some reason, August brings out the nostalgic in me. Some of the most unpleasant events in my life have taken place during this month.  Now that I am (chronologically anyway) an adult, I make it a point to make it as pleasant, as joyful a month as possible.  Even though it is as hot as Hades in my neck of the woods, summer being brought to its fever pitch and the humidity is off the charts.  But being an Aries, I am stubborn as a ram, so I crank the a/c up, light the scented candles, bake and take joy.  I got that from Tasha Tudor, that lady should have been declared a national treasure.  I read my favorite blogs, yes, I know, I sound like a broken record, listed in alphabetical order to keep it fair, Maureen Abood, Hollye Jacobs, Connie Perez, Frances Schultz,and the Whimbles, keep me laughing, thinking, believing and reaching for the Silver Linings in life.

It's Sunday, my second favorite day of the week.  The first being Saturday because I get a whole day at home AND still have one day at home left and the third being Friday because, well, it's the weekend!  Sitting on the sofa after morning prayer, cafe con leche in hand, I clicked on cnn.com and read an article about the nun who wrote the book "Dead Man Walking" which got turned into the movie with Susan Sarandon and Sean Penn.  Now, I am very much a supporter of the death penalty.  My sister (who knows the Bible backwards and forwards, I do not) and I have had some interesting discussions about this topic.  I am, usually, very much an eye for an eye person, it is in the Bible, I tell her.  She comes back with that was before Jesus came into the picture and it no longer applies.  I disagree.  I would have no problem whatsoever flipping the switch on murderers, rapists, those that torture, maim, inflict hurt purposefully on innocents.  However, just like I wonder whenever I see a homeless person when their spirit, their soul, was broken, I wonder what broke inside, when it broke, what it took to break, the criminal's soul.  Because, except for the rare ones who are born with a genetic flaw something they have no control over, we are not born criminals.  We are not born hating, it is something that somehow gets planted within us and grows, like an evil, poisonous thing, taking root in our hearts and minds. It is an ugly side of humankind and one that not a whole lot of people are willing to take a look at.  They would rather look the other way, make believe it is not there.  Turn a blind eye, the same way they turn a blind eye to the homeless, the poor, the "great unwashed" as someone once said, I forget who*, but the phrase stuck in my brain.

Bowl of Comfort

You see a homeless person walking between cars when you stop at a red light.  You stare straight ahead, fumble with the radio or crack the window and give them some change or a dollar.  There, you've done YOUR good deed for the day.  But do you meet their eyes?  And, yes, I know, some of them are grifters, some really are the dregs of humanity and some are just out to get your money.  But not all.  Once my sister and I had a spectacular argument, we're really only had a few, over one such homeless person.  We were exiting the highway, it was raining and there was this raggedy, soaked to the bone, middle-aged looking man, holding up a cardboard sign, which was rapidly fading, saying "Hungry. Please help."  Now, anyone who knows me will tell you I have a problem with anyone going hungry.  If there is one thing you can count on me for it is I will feed you.  Hot shower and a bowl of hot soup with a corn muffin on the side, my "go-to" comfort menu.  So, I grabbed a bunch of singles from my wallet, buzzed down my window and handed them to the man.  Did I mention it was flipping pouring, yet there he was standing in the rain?  Well, I got an earful from her, saying he would probably go buy some beer and drink himself into a stupor.  But, you know what?  That was his call if he chose to do so.  Because how much does your life have to suck to stand in the pouring rain, which is probably the closest thing to a shower he'd had in a VERY long time from the look of his skin and clothes, holding up a sign, hoping some soft-hearted nimwit came along and gave you their spare change.  A dirty, bedraggled, rather menacing-looking individual approaches your car, you look away, drum your fingers on the steering wheel, muttering "Turn green, turn green, turn green" hoping the light turns green and whew! Out of sight, out of mind. But I always think, there but for the grace of God ...

The same concept applies to animals, a dog approaches your pristine lawn, clearly lost, panting, you react by dousing it with water from your water hose, or throwing something at it, yelling "Shoo, shoo!  Go away!"  Maybe you call Animal Services.  You yell at the kids "Do NOT even THINK of petting, feeding, giving it water!  It's dirty, it will bite you and give you rabies!"  Or maybe it's a cat.  You do the same thing.  Go away, go away, you're ugly, filthy dirty and you do NOT belong here!  You could put a bowl of water out on the porch, but then you'd be encouraging it, right?  Same thing with the homeless, you give them a dollar and next thing you know, the next time they will expect you to give them some money, because you are an easy mark?  Then you get up Sunday morning, don your best duds and off to church you go.  You put a dollar in the collection plate, think you've done your part for the "poor children in (fill in country of your choice here)" and go off to the country club for lunch.  Or maybe to a nice restaurant with family and friends. Your kind.

Now, I am not saying we should open our doors (and hearts) willy-nilly to all the homeless, the hopeless, the abandoned, out there.  Or stop going to nice restaurants, enjoying life.  We all work hard, we deserve our pleasures and treats. Heck, I am addicted to scented candles and two certain brands of purses.  I spend an indecent (to some) amount on them, on manis and pedis.  I spoil my furry progeny silly.  Right now they are all spread out on the sofa, soundly sleeping after a lovely (if a bit smelly) lunch consisting of seafood feast and turkey and giblets feast.  What I am saying is, we need to look at the world around us, see the reality, the harshness some people live with on a daily basis.  Realize we are ALL connected.  Be grateful, not entitled, for all we have been blessed with.  The rough and the smooth.  The bitter and the sweet.  We all share the same planet. Like it or not, our actions create a domino effect.  What we put in, we get back, three-fold.  Instead of exuding harshness, coldness, not caring, of putting negativity out, try a bit of kindness instead.  You do not have to give the dirty, smelly homeless guy money, but maybe meet his (or her) eyes and say good morning, be careful out here.  Say God bless you (and mean it).  Instead of running that animal off your pristine lawn, put a bowl of water out for it, maybe it is the only kind gesture it will know in its life.  You do not have to "save the world" as someone once told me.  "You would like to make sure everyone is fed, bathed and has a safe roof under which to sleep!  You can't do that.  You can't save the world!" they said.  True.  But I can make sure that whoever I come across is met with kindness.  Even when they happen to be wearing designer clothes and a most snotty attitude.  Their issue. Not mine. Do unto others.  Wow, what a concept.

Which brings me back to Sister Helen Prejean.  While I do not wholeheartedly agree with her point of view, I can certainly understand it.  I have lost three people to violent acts during different times in my life.  One while I was a child, the other two in my 30s.  Two were related to me, the third was a friend.  All unsolved.  Their killers still walk free as far as I know.  Would I like to see them brought to justice? Absolutely.  It is doubtful they ever will be though.  They are three of thousands, maybe millions.  Could I possibly retaliate if they were brought before me and it was proven beyond shadow of a doubt they were guilty?  Oh, yeah.  But would I?  I don't know.  I like to think that before I pulled the trigger, flipped the switch, I would sit down with each individual, look them in the eye and ask them to tell me their life story.  I would want to know what was it, what series of events in their lives, led them to such a rage within their heart, soul, mind that it felt right to take another life.  To shoot someone at point blank range.  To watch their life drain out of them.  Without any regard for them, their loved ones.  No regret for shattering lives.  For destroying joyful, loving innocents and those that loved them.  When exactly did their hearts harden, their souls break?  Was it one cataclysmic  event or a series of harsh, unrelenting acts of indifference, cruelty.

Maybe they would tell me, maybe they would spit in my face or mock me.  Maybe they would tell me a bucketful of lies.  But at least I would know I tried.  I would tell them, you took a loved one away from me, I want to know why.  What drove you, what compelled you to destroy life, joy, beauty.  Once when I was volunteering in the pediatrics department of a hospital, I ran across a little boy.  He was a handful, the Energizer Bunny on speed, funny, bright, loved cars and drums, banging away on anything he could get  his hands on or creating wonderfully screechy car chases that inevitably wound up in spectacular pile-ups and he'd go "Boom!" raising his little arms in the air.  One afternoon he had an epileptic seizure while playing with me. The next day he came over to me, tugged on my jacket and in a very low voice he said "I'm sorry."  I said "For what?  You didn't do anything!" and he said "I was bad yesterday, my Mommy hates it when I do that." Something along those lines.  I just gave him a hug.  Wondered what did that child's mother say, or do, to him to make him think his having a seizure was him behaving badly? A few days later he was gone from the hospital.  I never saw him again, but he has always remained with me.  Thinking of him often, hoping somehow he survived childhood and is having a happy, healthy, loving life.

Sometimes I remember my family, how it was before we left my birth country.  True, I was very young, but I remember everyone (for the most part) getting along. Getting together at each other's houses, family trips with a caravan of cars off to the beach, the mountains.  Great big gobs of people of all ages sitting around tables laughing, talking, eating, singing.  Somehow we lost that connectivity when we arrived in the U.S.  Or maybe their true selves were revealed, I don't know.  Back in our native country, they were sure of their place, they belonged.  Here, they felt like they had to prove themselves and they did.  Some more financially successful, socially prominent, than others. Some liked (and thrived in) the limelight, others low-key, preferring to be out of that particular arena, happy to just live their lives, raise their child. But everyone had jobs, a house, food on the table.  Still, it was never the same. The long-running, ever present feud between my aunt and uncle got harsher than ever here.  It seemed like there was some kind of competition all the time.  My parents withdrew from all that, we settled in L.A., kept in touch with everyone, visited across state lines, but they were not really part of our lives, nor were we part of theirs.  At one point there was a family wedding, we were looking forward to seeing everyone.  Then we got a telephone call asking would we mind not going, there were going to be so many people, it was going to be so expensive for us (not really), maybe it was better if we did not travel.  I was perfectly fine with that, since we were going to change plans to visit Disneyland to travel to the wedding.  To this day, I'll take hanging out with Mickey and Donald any day over hanging out with grown-ups.  But my grandparents were incredibly hurt, it was their grandchild getting married and they were told, basically, they were not wanted there.  I wonder, at what point in time did it become okay, in their child's (the parent of the bride) mind to do that and, if they never meant for us to attend, then why send the invitation at all?  Were that to happen today, I would respond with a well-placed  "WTF?" It's a moot point, of course, mostly everyone has died, the bride and groom eventually divorced (and she married a lovely, lovely guy years later), the bride now is in her early 70s, I think (and I hope she has had a wonderful, joyful life).  I wonder when (if) they got to Heaven, did they run into each other?  Were apologies exchanged?  Or is it just all blotted out, hugs exchanged, slate wiped clean?  Hugs, I love hugs, they can be darn soul-healing.  Do unto others.  Wow, what a concept.

Well, I have veered, bobbled and weaved.  I have vented.  The rest of the day beckons.  Until next time, be blessed, be grateful, be joyful and keep the faith!

Keeping the Faith

*Turns out it was Edward Bulwer-Lytton, 1803-1873 (whatever did we do before google came along?  Oh, yeah, encyclopedias, libraries ...), an Englishman, rather interesting life story, apparently he was Secretary of State for the Colonies at one point and also had a rather acrimonious divorce. "The pen is mightier than the sword" and "In pursuit of the almighty dollar" are also attributed to him.  Funny, isn't it, how everyone fusses about people that pursue that ever elusive dollar, yet everyone, critics and non-critics, seem to want it?

Changes, Part Deux

Well, almost five months since my last post and, children, they have been one heck of a roller coaster ride. You know that feeling you get in your tummy, just as you are getting to the tippy top and know you are about to go zzzzooooming down at a bazillion miles an  hour?  And you're excited and scared and happy and terrified, but in a good way because you know that somehow even though you are scared witless, it is all going to be okay.  So you put your arms up, take the plunge, going "Woooooohoooo!" all the way.  Up and down and up and down and up, a couple of loop de loops, you start really regretting that last cotton candy you snarfed down, but you know it's all good.  Well, throw in a couple of almost-anxiety attacks, one almost meltdown, a bunch of friends (my coven!) helping out, just by BEING THERE, changing jobs twice in less than two months, having to decide in 5 seconds whether to go for a job where you'll be making less money but you will be really happy to get up in the morning, add a dash of redecorating/ decluttering fever, give it a good stir, pour into a chilled martini glass and voila!  My last five months. I didn't even post anything to my favorite blogs, but I still read 'em and like I told one of my favorite people ever, Ms. Frances Schultz, when I recently finally posted a comment on her (marvelous, lovely, wonderful, always makes me laugh and think) blog, her post about trusting the sky you are under has been referred to A LOT these past five months.  Her blog, my beloved Whimbles, my friemiliy and last, but certainly not least, my faith, kept me on (sort of) even keel.  I am sorry to say that at one point I was so overwhelmed by all the changes coming at me from all sides, that I missed one of my very favorite author's book signing.  I've written about her book before, Scenes Everlasting.  I love that book, have one on my nighttable, one in my purse and one at my office. That book is a little gem. Look it up on amazon.com, it can also be purchased at Books & Books in the Gables.

That little book and the "trust the sky you are under" post were much referred to these past few months. Even at the bumpiest of times, I knew it would all be okay.  Don't sweat the small stuff and, truly, a LOT of the stuff we stress about IS small stuff.  Compared to what's really out there. Serendipitiously (I think I just made that word up) enough, starting in March when I was handed my walking papers, I started meeting the kindest people.  Waiting in line to renew my license, I started talking to a very nice lady who was there with her granddaughters (she is raising them, her daughter having passed away), the oldest one was getting her restricted license.  We got to talking and as I was leaving, having taken my new (truly awful) picture for my license, we shake hands and she closes her eyes and says "Child, child, you have a great light shining on you.  There are wonderful things headed your way.  God loves you and He has great plans for you!"  Well, I had not found a new job at that point and I can tell you, she just made me feel great.  Another day in Publix (of all places to have a religious experience, I think Publix is pretty much way, way, way out there) I'm trying to get a bag of (what else) cat food, which of course was way out of my reach (there seems to be some sort of conspiracy against short people, just sayin') and this very nice (and tall) gentleman pops up out of nowhere, hands me the bag and when I thanked him, he smiled and said "You have light all around you."  That gave me the willies and the warm fuzzies at the same time.  But I felt great peace all around me when I looked at him.

A few days later I was sitting in my car waiting to go to another interview, I'd been to a few by then.  One I had really liked, two others were okay but I had a gut feeling they were not for me. (My dear friend and Faboo Fleaing Fairy GodMother Steph drove down to go with me to my first interview and then we went out for lunch, one of the many reasons I love her, she is true through and through.) So, there I was sitting in my car, waiting five more minutes to go into the interview. It was with an attorney I had worked with and really liked, we had worked at a fabulous, wonderful firm where I was really happy, then it got "absorbed" into another firm and things just went kaput.  He was looking for an assistant and a mutual friend recommended me, my wonderful former boss was one of his partners at that firm and had also called him.  Just as I was getting ready to turn off the car and go in, the phone rang and it was the first job I had interviewed for (and really liked) calling with a job offer!  I said I was about to go into another interview and would call them back.  This new interview went great, I felt really comfortable and liked the attorneys and the HR rep who interviewed me.  It was great to see my former co-worker, he is very calm, serious, just a really nice person.  I knew they were going to call me, but something just told me to go with the other offer. I felt not the best about turning his job offer down, it was a really good one.  But, it all turned out okay.

Okay, I will not lie and say I was not worried, I was, but still somewhere way down deep inside I knew it would all be fine. I just had to open myself up to the Universe and let the good, the positive, the joyful flow.  Which is not always easy when working with attorneys, sometimes you REALLY have to make the effort to stay positive, because what you REALLY feel like doing is going over the fence and layin' on a whooping.  But, nope, you take a deep breath and another and another, say an Our Father, or a dozen, and keep on trucking. All sorts of odd little things kept happening and/or popping up. Like the song Happy playing every day as I battled traffic on the way to my new job.  Several days I would hear Happy, I'd be bopping along at the top of my lungs "Because I'M HAAAAPPPYYYY!" and right after it my other favorite song would play and I would be sitting in traffic belting out "This is gonna be the BEST DAY OF MY LIIIIIIIFE!"  Thankfully the windows were always up and I was never pulled over for noise violations (ha ha).  Seriously, the oddest little nice things just kept happening.  One of my neighbors would come knocking on my door after a particularly LOOOONG day bearing soup or some other deeeelish offering from their homes. Someone would hold the elevator for me, or open the door. One day a homeless man I see off and on was walking up and down, doing his thing, I rolled down my window and scootched up all the spare change I had in the car, he beamed at me and said "God loves you, sweetheart, you have a blessed day!"  He made my day. Little things, really, but they just made my roller coaster ride ever so much nicer.  It was like the Universe was telling me "It's all good, we got this.  It's handled."  And it was.

I started my new job and it was good.  LOTS of paper, phone calls, I hit the ground running and every single day got home feeling like I had just run a marathon. Really liked my new boss.  Really missed my old one. I always told her she was my last attorney.  New people were all quite nice, but somehow I knew not to put down roots, something else was just around the corner.  And it was.  You've gotta trust those gut feelings.  About a month and a half after starting my new job, I was offered another one, doing something I really enjoy and had been wanting to get back into.  I was offered the job on a Wednesday afternoon, had to make a split second decision and I went for it.  Thursday I went in and resigned, giving essentially no notice, as the next day, Friday, was my last day.  I was able to take a few days off before starting my new job and they were blissful.  Now I knew why I had the gut feeling to turn down the job offer from the attorney I worked with before.  We have a  history, we know the same people. A very dear friend had recommended me, my former boss had called him, he made time in his very busy schedule to set up the interview.  He has a very challenging job, yet he made time to interview me. And he offered me a great job.  Which my gut feeling told me to turn down.  Now, I did not feel all that great about giving zip notice at my new job, but I would have felt MAJORLY lousy if I had done that to him, I would have felt like I was doing a disservice not only to him, but also my friend who had recommended me and my former boss (who I still miss).  I did like my new boss, he really is a decent sort, but it wasn't like we'd worked together for years.  Happily, however, an assistant who started about a week after I did was REALLY unhappy with her boss, I suggested she take over for me and she was really happy for that chance.  So, it all turned out nicely.  I have a  job doing something I really enjoy and so does she.

In the past few months I have seen the best in people and also the worst. When I was told my position was being "phased out," which was a lot of hogwash, I was not happy.  But, you know, if I ever bump into the squirrely individual who instigated the whole thing, I am going to give him a hug.  His disagreeable actions turned into a great opportunity for me. I would have never left my former boss otherwise, as I was determined to stick with her through thick and thin. She was very good to me and we are still great friends.  These past few months I have had unusual encounters with complete strangers, is there such a thing as partial strangers?  My faith has been reaffirmed.  I am grateful for this wild roller coaster ride.  It is turning out to be quite an interesting summer.  Surrounded by faith, friends, memories, joy, laughter, spending time in my cocoon, I am reminded, yet again, I am blessed, I am blessed, I am blessed.  After one heck of a ride, I  have arrived at a good place.  Fall, my favorite season, is peeking around the corner.  My worries were tempered by my faith, by my friends who just glommed around me and made sure I knew they had and have my back.  I no longer walk on eggshells, it's been a while since I actually could say that.  Which reminds me of one of my favorite Bible verses, Matthew 6:34, "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself ...."  Truer words were never spoken.

Before I forget, please, pray for our country, for the innocents, for the world, it needs a lot of prayer.  We need  to come together, somehow to realize we are all one. But that is a post for another time.  For now I am signing off, my furry progeny anxiously await their bedtime snackies, I  have a stack of interior design magazines waiting for me, soft sheets and fluffy pillows beckon.  Welcome August, summer is 3/4 over.  Until next time, be blessed, take joy and keep the faith!

Changes ...

 

Well, children, a lot has happened since I last posted.

I had scheduled this mini-vacation, five days, Thursday through Monday (St. Patrick's Day!) a while back, planning on using the time to declutter my cocoon, find my citizenship certificate which I need to renew my driver's license and which I saw a few weeks ago, tucked it away in safe place and now, of course, do not have a clue as to where that safe place is. Planned to spend some time hanging out with friends, doing a bit of gardening, baking, having friends over for brunch. Plans change ...


There's a song, I think from the 60s or 70s, that goes something like "Ch-ch-ch-changes ..."  That's all I remember from the song, it does have catchy music, but trust me, you do not want to hear me belt even that little bit out.  Change and I do not have a very happy relationship.  Have never been a big fan, having had a boat load of it when I was little, I am one who likes a set routine, a set job.  I am happiest when I know exactly where I am going Monday through Friday.  Have read articles recommending one change jobs every two years or so, but have never been a fan job-hopping. The longest I have been at a job was 15 years, same boss, three different firms.  Next up was four years, then 6.  I have been at my current job for three years; well, it will be three on April 4.  However, my last day will be April 15.  My boss gave me a heads-up on Monday that big changes were brewing, so I was ready when the next afternoon I was called into the office administrator's office to be advised I was being "phased out."  One thing I can honestly say is, I will really, really miss working with my boss.  She has been an incredible boss and is also a trusted friend.  As far as bosses go, she is pretty darn special.  I know both of us will come through this just fine, but, oh, I am so going to miss working with her.

So, out came the resume I never expected to have to update.  My boss is helping me tweak it.  Next week I start job-hunting, knowing the right one will be put in my path.  Just as this one was.  Emails will be sent, interviews will be set up and by the beginning of April, if not sooner, I will have a great new job. Must confess, initially I freaked out, just a bit.  Then I calmed down because I know things will work out.  At first I thought I'd take these originally-supposed-to-be-vacation days to start looking for that new  job.  But, no.  I am taking the time to do what I originally planned.  Monday (St. Patrick's Day!) I will start the job-hunt.  Until then I am decluttering, spring-cleaning, getting my cocoon in order and finding that pesky citizenship certificate.  In the next few weeks, between job-hunting and interviewing, I will renew my license and disability parking permit.

Tomorrow at the crack of dawn, 7:00-ish to be exact-ish, I am meeting a detective regarding the Valentine's Day drunk-driver rear-ending snafu.  The detective just called and asked if I thought I could pick the drunk driver out from some photos.  Apparently this individual caused quite a mess after rear-ending me and then taking off.  Thank goodness I managed to get the car's tag, which turned out to be a rental car.  So, tomorrow, I am off to look at pictures, see if I can pick him out.  The Cuban Nancy Drew is on the case!  The little car I had been driving had minor damage, what really annoyed me was the driver's refusal to get out of his car and then when I walked over to him and told him to get out of the car he replied "No English!" to which I replied "No hay problema, yo hablo espanol!"  He then proceeded to make like he was deaf.  The alcohol fumes were almost overwhelming.  My mistake was getting out of the car without my cell phone.  I could  have snapped his picture.  But it never occurred to me someone would just point-blank refuse to get out of their car after having hit someone, however slight that hit might have been.  Silly me.  It was around 4:30 in the afternoon, for Pete's sake, and this guy was soused to the gills.  I have no problem with people getting snockered in their or someone else's home.  I do have a problem with someone getting soused and then getting behind the wheel.  Because 9 times out of 10 when they cause an accident, the drunk guy walks away and the innocent get hurt, or killed.  There's a case in the headlines now of a horrific accident caused by a drunk driver who blew through a red light, hit a car so hard it looked as if it was split in half and killed a young girl who was in the back seat, her dad was driving her and her sister to  school.  The drunk guy?  Took off and when caught tried to lie his way out of it.  Apparently in court he tried to turn the situation around, saying it was the other car who ran the red light.  See, this is why I believe in the death penalty.  He took a life.  In  my book, he should pay with his.  Granted, it would not bring the victim back to life.  But it would, maybe, serve as a warning to other miscreants out there who have no problem getting behind the wheel when they are drunk.  Yes, as a matter of fact, I really AM turning into a dictator.  There's way too much leeway with criminals these days.  No accountability whatsoever.  It's always someone else's fault.  Oh, dear, I have bobbled and weaved.  Let me get back on my original subject.

I am not a big fan of change, however I have realized it is a fact of life and you have to go with it. Because fighting it only makes you miserable and (in some people's cases) also bitter. Life is way too short to go that route.  A former boss, who was quite the character, with such a good, good heart, he left us way too soon, once told me (we were having a rather heated discussion about change at the time) "My God, you are SO resistant to change!" and I told him "Well, I had to leave my country, my grandparents, everything familiar to me when I was really little.  My parents and I bounced from one country to another to another to FINALLY the U.S., where, thank God, my grandparents joined us about six months later, but we moved every single year, meaning I had to change schools every single year, as my family's fortune improved.  THEN right before the end of junior high, where we'd miraculously been for three years in the same house and same school and I was really happy with that, my Dad's parents came from Cuba and settled in Miami and my Dad up and moved us to Miami, where I did NOT fit in because I was too American for the Cubans and too Cuban for the Americans.  Miami did not turn out to be the happy family place my Dad envisioned.  So, yeah, I don't like change, I've had a boat load of it!" and he said "Well, that sounds like a pretty interesting life with all that traveling and moving around!" Mr. Levine, how I do miss our verbal exchanges.  You made me see my "change-ful" life from a way different perspective.  It is true, I may not have liked all those changes, but they did expose me to all kinds of people, cultures, food!  Those changes, in turn, taught me it was true what my parents always told me, we may be different from each other, but we are also all alike.  We all love, cry, laugh, hurt.  We all need kindness in our lives.  We are one.

While I am not exactly doing a happy dance over this latest bend in the road, who knows what interesting people and experiences I will have because of it?  There is a lot of good out there, one just has to look for it. I am thankful for the time I have spent at this job, for having had a fantabulous boss, having learned so much. I am thankful for my tribe, my clan, my pack, who have my back.  (Rhyming was unintended.) Sounding like a broken record yet again, I am blessed, I am blessed, I am blessed.

Changes are in store for me.  Who knows where this new job might take me.  I am visualizing getting back into word processing because, frankly, after having been my boss' assistant for three years, I really cannot picture myself working with another attorney.  All I know is the right job will be put in my path.  We will see what changes the Father has in store for me.  One of my favorite websites (Abraham-Hicks) has this quote on their home page "You are loved. All is well."  As Oprah says, this I know for sure.

Until next post, be blessed, believe and keep the faith!

Random Acts of Kindness and Silver Linings

Light

This past Wednesday I started to feel lousy at work.  Back issue reared up its nasty little head and I just felt like someone had pulled the plug on me and all energy had drained out.  Checked calendar and saw we were clear (barring any unforeseen emergency), called the doctor, they could fit me in Thursday afternoon, perfect.  Called my boss, saying I was feeling lousy, calendar was clear and if it would be okay to take Thursday and Friday off.  Bless her, she said yes.  Random act of kindness.  She could have just as easily said no, there's always something to do at the office.  But, Silver Lining, she said yes.  I think she could tell by my voice I really needed the time off.  I felt whooped.

Soon I was out the door, heading home.  Then I remembered the felines were out of dry food.  Sigh.  This meant a stop at Publix.  Luckily there is one right on my way home from work.  I pulled into the parking lot and Silver Lining, a parking space right up front.  Grabbed a cart and headed in.  Grabbed a couple of things, might as well stock up so as to not have to go out once I was home, except for going to the doctor.  In the pet food aisle I bumped into one of my co-workers who told me cat food was BOGO (buy one, get one free).  I told her I was looking for a cat litter scoopy thingie (yes, I know, my glamorous life) and had she seen any?  There they were way up on the highest (i.e. unreachable for either of us) shelf.  Well, Silver Lining, a very nice lady put some heavy boxes on the floor, stepped on them and got me TWO of them, bless her.  I thanked her, she smiled and said "We all have to help each other!"  Random acts of kindness always get me.  They are, to me, messages from the Universe telling us that, yes, people may blow, but there are good ones around, we just have to look for them.  After about 30 minutes, I was all stocked up, paid and on my way home.

Got home, pulled into my parking space, unloaded.  Home.  Bliss.  Changed into my comfies.  Took my meds, fed the kits and got in bed with a new book, The Invention of Wings, by Sue Monk Kidd.  One of my favorites is her The Secret Life of Bees, I love that book.  This one is proving to be a bit harder, it takes place during slavery and it is a tough read.  Her writing has a way of drawing you inside the story, it is like you are there.  Another favorite of hers is Traveling With Pomegranates, which she co-wrote with her daughter.  It is one of my night-table standards, right along with Help, Thanks, Wow by Anne Lamott.  My neighbor called asking if I could possibly drive her and her youngest to the pediatrician in the morning.  No problem, said I was off the rest of the week and going to the doctor the next day, I'd drop them off and then head for my doctor's appointment.

Thursday morning, my neighbor called early saying her husband could take them to the doctor, not to worry.  Then the doctor's office called and rescheduled me for Friday at 12:45, which was just perfect because, frankly, all I wanted was to stay home.  I needed, no, I craved the peace and quiet of home.  Had completely forgotten the are renovating the apartment next to mine.  Much whirring, hammering, sawing soon ensued.  But I was home, in my comfies, mug of hot cafe con leche in hand.  Silver Linings all over the place.  I worked on some of my little Whimbles stories, savoring being home in the middle of the work week.

Friday I went off to the doctor.  Where I was greeted by a lobby full of hacking, coughing, wheezing, sneezing, gasping patients.  Surely, I thought, one of Dante's circles of hell must be waiting in a doctor's lobby.  But, hey, no cause for complaints.  I have insurance, it's all good.  My name was called and in I went.  Everything checked out, got two shots for my back.  Started feeling slight relief right away.  By the time I got to Walgreen's to pick up refills, I was feeling way better and by the time I was on my way home, I was feeling quite good.  Decided to try and sneak in a bit of shopping and went to Home Goods ... by myself!  It's been a while since I've ventured to the stores on my own.  Prefer to have someone with me, in case my back acts up, or whatever.  But, nope, I felt like "me" again and off I went.

I love that store, always has such a nice stock of soaps and sniffies.  Happily dawdled for about 30, 45 minutes, then paid and came home.  My neighbors were pulling in at the same time, helped me carry my bags in.  She was going to the mailbox and offered to get my mail, I sheepishly confessed I hadn't been to it in a while, I pay my bills on line and my friends know to mail me at the office.  Bless her, she checked my mailbox and came back with a slew of holiday cards. Josefina said she would keep my mailbox key and check my mailbox for me.  The area where the mailbox is always gives me the heebie jeebies.  Have I ever mentioned I have lovely neighbors?  I do, I do.  Happily cocooned the rest of the day, read all my Christmas cards which gave me the warm fuzzies.  Promise to send out Valentine's Day cards ON TIME, not like the Halloween cards which are still sitting on my kitchen counter, addressed, stamped ... and waiting for Halloween of this year, sigh.

Saturday, I woke up feeling so much better that I decided to clean.  Spent the greater part of the day scrubbing, cleaning and mopping.  Reorganized my little pantry.  My neighbor called saying they were off to do groceries and did I need anything, I said light bulbs.  No problem, they'd get me light bulbs.  Random act of kindness.  Then walking into my kitchen I tripped over some art supplies on the floor and took a spectacular fall.  Landing first on my right arm and then on the right side of my face.  Once I got my wind back, checked nothing was broken, my jaw hurt like the dickens, hauled myself back up, got some ice for my rapidly-swelling jaw.  My neighbors came by with the light bulbs and seeing my jaw, went to get some ointment for it.  Her husband, always the gentleman, replaced my porch light's light bulb. She fussed over me, saying to rest, put some ice on my jaw, rest, rest, rest.  Tsk, tsking all the while.  They are some of the kindest people I have ever known.



Ouch!

Later another neighbor and friend, Miuri, called asking if she could drop by with a little something from her kitchen.  Her "little somethings" are always delish and I was in no mood for cooking, major Silver Lining and random act of kindness for her to call.  Soon I was feasting on some truly delicious meatloaf and rice with veggies.  She sat at the table with me, keeping me company while I snarfed down her delicious dinner.  Then my neighbor, Josefina, called again and said she was bringing me dinner, when I told her our friend was over and had brought me dinner, she said fine, you have lunch for tomorrow then.  Over she came bearing Chinese fried rice and soup.  Deeelish.  I do love my neighbors.  Miuri and I talked for what seemed like hours, she is an excellent listener and you can talk with her about anything under the sun.  She reminds me of my friend Connie, they both have this air of serenity, peace about them.  Josefina always said that we would be great friends and she was absolutely right.  We three have a great friendship.

Sunday I woke up late, had Josefina's dinner for brunch with a cafe con leche.  Spent the day writing my little stories and watching movies.  Had a lovely quick chat with FGM Martha, She of the Whimbles.  Really have to get my stories off to them, I keep tweaking them.  I was supposed to meet Stephanie (a/k/a Faboo Fleaing FGM), but we rescheduled.

It didn't occur to me until today that I might have had a concussion from knocking my head on the floor (twice, it bounced the first time).  I remembered the time I was bike riding and went into a skid, flew off my bike and hit my head on the hub cap of a car parked where we were riding our bikes.  I dented the hub cap.  Silver Lining being I actually DO have a very hard head!  My grandmother put an icepack and vinegar and salt on the huge bump, I smelled like a salad for days afterwards.  She must have been watching over me this Saturday when I banged it yet again.

Had to put The Invention of Wings down, take a break from it.  It is a very hard book to read.  Maybe because of the subject matter.  I will never be able to wrap my head around the fact that people thought it was okay to own people.  To actually believe they were not "quite" human.  WTF?  How could they possibly rationalize that?  And they went to church!  That is what really blows my mind.  How in blazes could they read the Bible, go to church, proclaim themselves as "Christians" and buy and sell people, tear families apart, abuse, punish, torture?  Put the book away, started re-reading Traveling With Pomegranates.  Love that book.  It always makes me think of Mom.  Miamamma.  She was such a special child of light.  That is how I think of her, a Child of the Light.  When people tell me I am such a "strong" person and bla, bla, bla, I always think well, I had one heck of a role model, didn't I?  My parents and grandparents were major Silver Linings in my life.  To have been given them was a HUGE act of kindness from the Father.  They say one picks out one's parents, family, when choosing to reincarnate.  Well, all I can say is if I ever do find myself having that choice, I will choose them all over again.  Absolutely.  Lord in Heaven, I am all over the place with this post.  Maybe I did whack my head a little too hard ...

So, what started out as an almost melt-down at the office turned into five days off, a Silver Lining and act of kindness on my boss' part.  A stranger's climbing on boxes to get me two cat littler scoop thingies, neighbors bearing dinner and checking up on me, making sure I am okay, Silver Linings and random acts of kindness, all.  Not having to leave my cocoon during a cold snap, waking up to warm, snoozy cats and hot cafe con leche, not having broken anything when I fell, Silver Linings.  Someone once said we have to be kind because you never know if it is an angel we are helping. I believe we should be kind because it is the right thing to do.  You never know when a single act of kindness, which may not seem like much to you, may just make that person's day.  And who knows?  Maybe it IS an angel you are helping.  Then again, I believe we are surrounded by angels all the time.  Some are earth-bound, some in Heaven, but always looking out for you, for me, for us all.  Many, many years ago, going to the bank with my grandmother, she fell at the door into the bank.  It was the late 60s, hippies everywhere.  Several men in suits, all starched perfection, walked right past us.  A hippie, long-haired, dirty jeans, weird tunic-type top, ran over to us, helped her up and went and got her some cold water, gently leading her to a chair, he made her sit down until she caught her breath.  He asked how were we getting home and I told him my Dad was next door at the Thrifty drugstore.  He asked for his name and went and got my Dad.  I wish I could have seen my Dad's face when this young, long-haired, ponytailed hippie guy ran into Thrifty calling out his name.  He was very tall, very kind and quite gentle with my grandmother.  I do not remember his name, but I have always remembered him.  He was a Random Act of Kindness and a Silver Lining combined.

Well, time to go get ready to rejoing the world tomorrow.  Silver Lining, it's a short week.  Today we were off in observance of Martin Luther King Day.  I have this lovely picture in my head of Dr. King and Nelson Mandela sitting on a terrace up in Heaven, having a cup of coffee and talking.  That would be a soul-feeding conversation.  Talking about all they went through, all that has been accomplished, all that has yet to be accomplished. I hope, I pray, one day we will all see beyond skin color, beyond differences, see that in reality, we are all one.  Children of the same Father.

Until next time, be blessed, be kind to each other and keep the faith!



Celebrate Friendships and Silver Linings!



New Year's Resolutions ...



CELEBRATE, CELEBRATE, DANCE TO THE MUSIC!



1. Eat more healthy stuff, more fresh fruits and veggies (frozen is fine for smoothies), less white sugar (one exception being a bit of sugar with morning café con leche), try to stick to mainly vegan diet.
2. Drink more water, lots and lots of water.  As the youngest of a good friend told me "Mommy says it keeps her wrinkles filled in." Here's to filled-in wrinkles, sans Botox!
3. Get at least 7 hours sleep daily, 8 being the ideal amount.
4. Trust whatever sky I am under is the sky I am supposed to be under, as Frances Schultz says in her New Year's post "But when it is overcast and uncertain, I’m just going to sit with it, knowing there is a glimmer on a horizon somewhere."  This is the link to her blog and that particular post http://www.francesschultz.com/9575.
5. See the good, count my many, many blessings.
6. Always have camera with me.
7. Write/blog/paint/create!
8. Spend more time with FFFGMs* and friends.
9. Go fleaing more with FFFGM Estefania of the Michigan Macedonian Tribe.
10. Wear less black, more color (this is going to be a toughie).
11. Keep a stock of champagne and chocolate truffles on hand.
12. Ditto Publix frozen peach, cherry and apple pies.
13. Ditto those amazing croissants from QVC.**
14. Garden, garden, garden!
15. Buy a beat-up pick-up for hauling treasures home.
16. Breathe, be here now, here be.
17. And always dance in the rain!

*FFFGMs - Frankly Fabulous Fairy GodMothers.
**Weekend brunches fare, yummmmmmmmm!

... So, what are your resolutions?



Remember to Dream!

 

Weekend Roses



Recipe For A Nippy, Rainy Weekend

Hot Cocoa with Marsh-a-Mallows!

Have been keeping a low profile since late Thursday, dealing with a rather unpleasant bug.  Woke up Friday morning feeling like a semi had rolled over me, backed up and rolled over me again, several times.  Emailed my boss saying I was feeling off, would be in as soon as I evened out.  Bless her, she told me to stay home, keep an eye on things remotely, she'd call me if anything came up.  So, I stayed home. The day was rainy, cool, grayish, with the sun coming out once in a while.  Decided to make a big pot of my "cure-all" homemade chicken soup.  Soup simmering on the stove, remembered I had a peach pie in the freezer and into the oven it went.  Lit my candles and settled into the sofa with a stack of magazines, mug of hot cocoa at hand.

Peach Pie, Looooove Peach Pie!

Late afternoon my neighbor called, her girls (big fans of Cake Boss) were making a red velvet cake and she had some questions. She came over and borrowed some silicone molds.  I went back to my cozy-comfy couch and can I just say, God bless whoever invented Puffs tissues?  Spent the rest of the day guzzling chicken soup, orange juice over ice, taking cat naps and snuggling with some very snoozy cats.  Headed to bed early.

Pink Tootsies!

Saturday morning woke up feeling a bit better.  Had my morning cafe con leche.  Took a shower, changed my pj's, put on my pink and orange sockies and it was back to the sofa, this time settling in for a Downton Abbey marathon, Season 3.  The Boys, Miss Millie and Smokey all settled in with me.  Had a lovely phone visit with my lovely friend and neighbor, Miss Miuri.  A while later there was a knock on my door and there was my other lovely friend and neighbor, Miss Josefina.  She came bearing gifts, some truly delish red velvet cupcakes.  We visited, making plans for going shopping next weekend and cooking up something delicious.  She left after a little while.  I snuggled into the sofa again, red velvet cupcakes close at hand.  Bliss.

Yummo Red Velvet Cupcakes

I have many Silver Linings in my life, my neighbors are a major Silver Lining.  The other day speaking with Miuri on the phone she said "I went to Mass and prayed for you."  She has no idea how that truly touched me.  Miuri praying for me, calling to say hello and how are you, Josefina and her family inviting me into their home to share holiday dinners, taking me shopping at Costco, red velvet cupcakes when I'm feeling "ugh," acts of kindness which heal one's heart and feed one's soul.  Kindness is so needed in today's world, which can be a harsh place at times.  How lucky and blessed am I to not only have good neighbors, but neighbors who truly take an interest in me, share meals, care about me, call to see how I am feeling AND bring me deeeeeelish cupcakes.  I know if I need someone in the middle of the night they are there for me.  They have taken me in as one of their own.  Silver Linings all over the place!

Comfy-Cozy Sofa (note the snoozing felines)

I love my sofa, it is comfy, cozy, cushy and has soft, squooshy pillows. The cats are of the same opinion. Sitting cozily snuggled into my sofa last night, I realized the recipe for a Nippy, Rainy Weekend, for me anyway, is comprised of snuggy comfy socks, chicken soup, lovely neighbors, orange juice, hot cocoa and red velvet cupcakes.  Add a comfy-cozy sofa, an entire season of Downton Abbey and a dash of snoozy cats thrown in for good measure.  Stir well, enjoy.  I am blessed, I am blessed, I am blessed.

Well, it's Sunday night, time to get ready for the week ahead.  My freshly dressed bed awaits, pillows and comforter fluffed.  A new week dawns, let's make it a good one!

Until next time, pay it forward, keep the faith, look for the Silver Linings, be kind to each other and blessed, blessed, blessed be.

 

Last Weekend of 2013

Friday Night Lights

Yesterday, Friday, I got to come home early.  It has been a very odd work-week.  We worked Monday, had Tuesday and Wednesday off (yay!) and back to work Thursday and Friday.  There were precious few of us at work those two days and we were most assuredly not on all four burners.  Next year, I am taking the holidays off.  Period.  Thankfully I was able to leave early both days, thanks to my boss.  Friday, I was particularly antsy and bless my boss who picked up on my mood and told me to go home whenever I wanted.  Five minutes later, I was on my way home.  It was about 3:00, or so, traffic was blessedly light.  Lit my candles, popped a blueberry pie in the oven, ah, bliss.  No matter how bumpy the day, the minute I am home, I breathe peace.  My kits around me, pie bubbling in the oven, it started raining and I thought "Perfection!"  Wrote a bit.  Called some friends I hadn't called in a while.

 

Yummy Jammies

Is there anything more comfy than being in one's pajamas earlier in the day than usual?  I swear, I could LIVE in my pajamas.  Don't know who it was that said "All one really needs is a divinely appointed and comfortable bed!" but I so agree with that.  Took a few pictures.  Remembered the salmon I'd bought at the beginning of the week, with pesto basil butter, yum!  As soon as the pie was done, in went the salmon.  I made a lovely little tomato, spinach, mushroom salad with sun-dried tomato and garlic vinaigrette.  When the salmon was done, I arranged it prettily on top of the salad, then plated the other fillet and called my neighbor.  They are always feeding me, I figured it was time to repay their generosity with something from my kitchen that's not chocolate-covered!  I remembered a bottle of wine my friends from Talley, Miss Jodie and her hubby Alan, brought down when they visited in the Spring. Opened the bottle, let it breathe.  Made a note on my "To Buy" list to look for wine glasses like Olivia Pope has on Scandal.  Yes, I admit, I am obsessed with that show.  Tried the wine.  Oh, my!  So good!  Had a glass with dinner while watching Miracle on 34th Street, the black and white version with Natalie Wood.  I think there is a colorized version, but I prefer the original in black and white.  If that makes me an old fogey, so be it.

Java Love

Today I got up, had my first cafe con leche (have I said how much I absolutely LOVE my Keurig?), wrote, read, watched the latest 007, Skyfall (wow, intense).  I kept expecting one of the supposedly good guys turn out to be a traitor, but nope.  Didn't expect it to end the way it did though, although there was a good bit of foreshadowing, still I thought they were just throwing red herrings in.  But nope.  Those chase scenes, wow!  Spent a good bit of the afternoon going through Hollye's blog, http://www.thesilverpen.com, looking for recipes.  I love her "Friday's Fixin's" posts, they are delish and healthy.  Watched "The Secret" on NetFlix, it's really quite interesting and ties into my Mom's theory of projecting positivity and focusing on the positive, the good, the Light.  I really believe her attitude is what gave us a longer time with her than what was originally given.  She was, is and will always be a major source of inspiration for me.  
Anyway, dinner time rolled around and I thought, hmmm, I still haven't used all of those lovely mushrooms I bought earlier in the week, there's some spinach left and also lovely grape tomatoes, one salmon fillet from last night, I'm going to invent something!  Put on a pot of boiling water and pitched some pasta in there.  Chopped up the tomatoes, mushrooms, some onions, drizzled some EVOO into another pan and added them into it, shredded the salmon and added it in, remembered I had sour cream, boom!  A generous, VERY generous dollop, added to the pan with the mushrooms, salmon, etc. in it.  Some half and half and then I remembered the wine.  Ah!  The wine!  Poured myself a glass and added a good dose to the pan.  Let the whole thing simmer, scenting the cocoon, for a bit.  By now the pasta was al dente, drained it, tossed it into the pan with the salmon, mushroom, tomatoes, etc. and mixed it well.  Oh, my!



Miss Jodie's Cheesy Cornbread Muffins

I am planning a traditional Southern menu for New Year's Day, Hoppin' John, cornbread, along with brownies and cookies and cakes and pies, oh my! Because what would the Cozy Cocoon be without the scent of something sweet perfuming the air? New Year's Eve, however, it's a shrimp, cheese and fruit tray, along with champagne and bunches of grapes, 12 in each bunch.  I may do traditional Southern for New Year's Day, but New Year's Eve, it's Cuban tradition time, 12 grapes to be eaten precisely at midnight and a bucket of water pitched out the front door.  One year I doused a neighbor that was walking up to our front door, oopsies! I rarely talk about my memories of Cuba.  It is a feeling difficult to describe.  Those memories are preserved, if you will, like one of those perfect little scenes in snowglobes.  Only someone took my snowglobe and shattered it all to pieces and no matter how much my parents tried, they could never put it back together.  The strongest memories are those of the holidays.  I don't know why. But they are the best memories.  Of all my family gathered under one roof, sitting around the dining room table, talking, eating, passing plates of food around.  There was music and laughter.  Tobacco and lemony cologne scented the air, along with "lechon asado" and always laughter.  Rollicking, rolling laughter.  My parents dancing a "danson" down the hallway.  My grandparents joining them.  The huge tree in the living room twinkling with miniature, multi-colored lights.  Another one in my bedroom.  Both with these amazing Nativity scenes which encompassed entire little towns, sheep grazing on real grass and my Dad grumbling about how long it took to set it all up.  I am an American, but I do remember and hold fast to my Cuban roots. 

Well, I have rambled once again.  Tomorrow, it's off to market to pick up the New Year's Eve/Day ingredients.  Definitely will be buying more salmon, I'm making it a point to eat HEALTHY in 2014.  Lots of salads, fruit, zip red meat except for once in a blue moon.  More salmon.  More red wine.  Gallons of water.  Barbie Breakfasts on weekends.  Did I mention wine?  Mimosas are a menu staple.  Krispy Kreme donuts once in a blue moon.  I know, I know, not the healthiest of indulgences, but they take me back to a cold night long ago and far away, when I spoke English in public for the very first time ... to order "one dozen glazed donuts, please!" at this marvelous donut emporium in L.A. which had a huge donut on its roof.  I wonder if it's still there.  We got our treats and headed home to dunk them in my Mom's cafe con leche (she made the best).  In speaking with one of my friends this afternoon, we commented what a bumpy year it has been all around.  We've had health scares, lost loved ones, it's been like walking a tightrope at times, trying to stay focused on the good, the positive, the Light.  We both agreed it is way easier to drift into the dark, but we are too stubborn to give in, thank you very much.  Yep, it's been a bumpy year, but we have made it through.  God willing, we'll make it through 2014, may it be filled with health, joy, faith, laughter, good friends, good food (and wine!), chocolate (a must!), antiquing, adventures, learning, treasures yet to be discovered.

I've got my DVR set to record the Rose Parade.  I do hope everyone will be watching, it's a tradition at my home.  Wishing all the Happiest New Year.  Remember, be kind to each other, keep the faith, look for the Light, just keep swimming, swimming, swimming and BELIEVE!

Believe! Cookie Jar