12/12/24

Dear MiaMamma,

Today would have been your 89th birthday.  Somehow, I just know you are celebrating in Heaven, having chocolate cake with chocolate frosting, drinking champagne from one of those champagne glasses you love, the flat, wide ones, I always liked the slim ones, the bubbles last longer, but you loved the flat ones because you said more bubbles got to tickle your nose.  You are dancing the night away with Daddy. There's a song by Carly Simon, Like A River, that has a line that asks "Are you dancing with Benjamin Franklin on the face of the moon?" I love that song, the imagery it contains is just beautiful, and it reminds me of you and Daddy dancing down the hallway of our house in Cuba, one night you two were going out on the town. Now I close my eyes and can see you two dancing among the stars.  You are wearing a Christmas red dress with a skirt that's all flowy and billows around when Daddy twirls you, diamonds sparkle at your ears and on your shoes, Daddy looks quite handsome in his tux.  Best of all, you look happy, healthy, like you are having the time of your life.  If someone had told me I would go this long without hearing your voice, I would have told them they were out of their minds.  But, here we are.  I do miss you and Daddy so very much.  In fact, the other day I went into major pity party mode.  Then thought, okay, this accomplishes nothing.  Look at what you have, what you had, take joy, count your blessings.  You taught me to find joy in the smallest of things, in the everyday of life, that a cafe con leche and buttered toast make even the lousiest day better, oh, how you would love my Christmas present for my nest, a Keurig with all the bells and whistles, it even makes hot cocoa, and to always believe in Santa Claus. You taught me to look for and hold on to the magic.  You instilled a deep, unshakeable, abiding faith in me, that tells me one day, one day we'll get to see each other again.  You made "special" days over-the-top special and dusted with fairy dust (explaining my fondness for glitter) and day-to-day life magical. You were a walking, talking example of the "Believe!" theory, no matter what curve balls you were thrown, you found the magic and still Believed.

Yesterday I went to Publix and bought all the ingredients for REAL chocolate cake and REAL chocolate frosting, but just in case I also bought a boxed mix and ready-made frosting.  My kitchen now holds Hershey's Cocoa, real butter, powdered sugar, cake flour, the best vanilla extract!  Eggs!  Well, I always have eggs.  You know me and my thing about ALWAYS having breakfast fixings in the pantry. This weekend, I'm sorry, I really did want to do it today, your actual birthday, but I am wiped by the time I leave work, but this weekend, I am getting a REAL Christmas tree, the neighbors are coming over and we are filling the tree with a bazillion tiny white lights, I'm baking that chocolate cake (REAL or mix, but one way or another, there WILL BE CHOCOLATE CAKE), I'll light the candles and we'll sit around admiring the tree and munching cake.  Maybe we'll order Chinese. We'll toast to your memory and talk and laugh, sing Christmas carols, take pictures.  You and Daddy were a joy and a blessing in my life.  I miss you every day, but I know one day we'll see each other again.  I feel you and him around me all the time, MiaMamma, and Abuelo and Abuela.  I'm grateful, oh, so very, very grateful for the many years we had together.  For each and every second, the good times.  The bad times, they made the good even sweeter.  Our time together, all those years, nights under the stars, listening to fairy tales, of Abuelo playing his violin, days floating in those crystal clear waters with Abuela calling from shore to make sure I did not float away, of dancing ballet in the sand wearing a tiara on my head and twirling madly in my high-top sneakers because I never did like the feel of sand on my feet. Even when all grown-up and dealing with illness, you still managed to find the joy.  Do you remember the afternoon we came back from Tia's house, we'd gone to pick up chocolate pudding she'd made and just as we got home it started pouring.  We didn't have an umbrella in the car, so we decided to just wait until it stopped pouring and then we looked at each other and went for the pudding ... WITH OUR FINGERS like little kids!  There we were laughing and licking our fingers and Daddy comes out of the house with this huge umbrella, tromps over to the car, saying "If you think you're going to sit there and eat ALL of it, oh, no, no, gimme!"  That memory always makes me laugh.  Those days, full of magic and wonder, they were the real present.  The best present.  Ever.  Time spent with loved ones, that is the very best present of all.  I am truly enjoying this holiday season.  Your and Daddy's favorite season.

Happy Birthday, MiaMamma, to quote Tina Turner same as last year, you were ... simply the best.

 

Okay, enough reminiscing and visiting memories. Time for sleepers, as the Whimbles say. There are two new magazines waiting for me and some very sleepy felines expecting bedtime snackies. Until next time, hold your loved ones close, remember why we really celebrate this most magical time. Enjoy your loved ones, spend time together (it really IS the very best present), bake cookies, put up the tree, fuss with the lights. Be blessed, keep the faith and take joy in this season of wonder. It is, as they say, the Most Wonderful Time of the Year!

 

Carly Simon – Like A River Lyrics

Dear mother the struggle is over now
And your house is up for sale
We divided your railroad watches
Between the four of us
I fought over the pearls
With the other girls
But it was all a metaphor
For what was wrong with us
As the room is emptying out
Your face so young comes into view
And on the back porch is a well-worn step
And a pool of light that you can walk into

I'll wait no more for you like a daughter,
That part of our life together is over
But I will wait for you, forever
Like a river...

Can you clear up the mystery of the Sphinx?
Do you know any more about God?
Are you dancing with Benjamin Franklin
On the face of the moon?
Have you reconciled with Dad?
Does the rain still make you sad?
Last night I swear I could feel you
Moving through my room
And I thought you touched my feet
I so wanted it to be true
And in my theater there is a stage
And a footlight you can always step into...

I'll wait no more for you like a daughter,
That part of our life together is over
But I will wait for you, forever
Like a river...

In the river I know I will find the key
And your voice will rise like the spray
In the moment of knowing
The tide will wash away my doubt
'Cause you're already home
Making it nice for when I come home
Like the way I find my bed turned down
Coming in from a late night out.
Please keep reminding me
Of what in my soul I know is true

Come in my boat, there's a seat beside me
And two or three stars we can gaze into...

I'll wait no more for you like a daughter,
That part of our life together is over
But I will wait for you forever
Like a river...

I'll never leave, always just a dream away
A star that's always watching
Never turn away
We'll never leave, always just a thought away
A candle always burning
Never turn away
The moon will hide, the tree will bend
I'm right beside you
I'll never turn away